truly never believed in love at first sight

but the first time I met you,

your eyes were so bright

green-blue, a color I’d never seen before

I fell in love with you as soon as you opened your door

I’m sorry for that

I should have realized you didn’t want that, and stepped back

But I think about that night once in a while

And I can’t help but admit it brings me a smile

But a smile fades to a grimace

Because I was firsthand to witness

The best connection I’ve had

Deteriorate and turn sad

My hands reach and find my way through your hair,

But I look down at my hands

You’re not even there...

I can still recall that night in Boone,

Our first night there we had no room

We pulled our blankets out

And set out to scout

For a perfect place to sleep that night

I still feel the cold,

Frigid and chilled

Abandoned lot, we could have been killed

But we laid under the stars,

Not caring where we are

All that mattered was we were together

And then I chuckle and remember...

That night something happened I will never forget,

I took your hand in mine

I was scared, I was nervous

But I knew I’d be fine.

Never laughed or loved harder before,

Constantly wondering if I was a bore

Self conscious thoughts projected on you,

When I really didn’t have the room

I knew you loved me,

I can still feel it today

But since we parted,

And finally split ways

There were just a few things left I had to say.

The feelings you made me feel are feelings I’ve never felt before,

I didn’t think there was another on this earth

That could understand me anymore

You were my best friend,

Angry, sad, and bitter it had to end

I’m sorry for the shit I said

The nights I would have rather

Had you here with me in bed

Making the beats that once filled my head

The best part of my day was falling asleep to your music

Falling asleep to your voice, but you already knew this

Would have supported you until the end

Life full of love and a great damn friend

I pushed all the hatred away,

When I thought of the days

You put a smile on my face,

And wiped my tears away.

I pushed all the hatred away,

When I thought of the days,

You held me close on the days I felt down the most

So, I give you a toast

For being the only person to make me

And the only person to break me

I hadn’t ever felt such passion,

And those piercing eyes were lashing

The night we finally decided

It was best not to hide it,

We thought of all we could do and tried it.

But I miss you

And I’m not ashamed of it,

I’m ashamed of me and every time I raised a fit

I push most everything good out nowadays,

But the feelings I have had for you have sadly been here to stay.

Like a broken bone,

My teeth turn to stone

My heart aches

As I recall the love not shown.

You did the most you could for me,

I’m sorry I didn’t see that

Really thought we were meant to be

And I’m sorry I fucking blew that.

Creativity follows you, no matter where you roam

With the music inside of you, I know you’ll always have a home.

I hope there’s a time down the line, I can lay my head on a pillow —

and hear another of your rhymes.