•14 hours on the plane

•so bumpy from India onwards!

•so quick and easy through immigration etc

•everyone lives in campus-style apartment blocks with communal areas etc

•military jet planes fly up every day - cloud dusting?

•explored Sentosa island

•went to McDonald’s 3 times

•slept 16-20 hours

•got a Grab 15 mins to a gym (which was tiny) to just turn around and get the train back to go to a closer gym to where we were staying 😂

•went to McDonald’s again. The cleaner recognized us, cultured af

•everyone is slow as fuck

•Singapore slings are disgusting and expensive

•gardens by the bay were pretty for 5 mins then we just wanted to leave (ended up in McDonald’s again, standard)

•got another grab cos we were tired, hungry and grumpy. Best bit about Singapore

•went in the underground tunnel that goes under the water and island

•Grab driver supports Man U and knows a lot about Southampton fc!

•found something gluten free in KFC and then put gluten sauce on it :(

•watched whole series of Safe before going to sleep late again. Looks like we’re going to be sleeping every other day...

•family we were staying with had about 43 showers throughout the night?!

•Changi airport is pretty big and clean (of course) with a random band playing. Also security is at the gates rather than the beginning, quite odd

•arrived at 10.30 for a 17.30 flight 🐌

•TO PHUKET!!! on the world’s bumpiest flight through thick black clouds, y a y - also only about 24 people on the plane, what’s that about?

•fight with a few taxi drivers before we actually decide on somebody who looks trustworthy

•lock on hotel room door broken so get moved rooms. Another mile walk to the next one

•about to leave to go find drinks and food but huge downpour. Now watching bbc instead, a reasonable alternative apparently

•finally ventured out in the rain for food. Google maps seemed to show a bunch of bars and restaurants on the beach (and also failed to show us the fat off lake between there and our hotel...) but turned out to be only one restaurant! It was a hard decision given the huge selection but we decided on staying there

•2 cocktails, 1 green curry, 1 yellow curry and 2 ice creams later we were finally stuffed and this little shack-come-restaurant turned out to be perfect (1st meal since leaving the UK, Singapore was definitely not gluten free or cheap!)

•best night’s sleep in the widest bed ever

•went to a gym, full of tourists/ex-pats

•explored Thalang area and found a BOGOF happy hour. 5 strawberry daquoris later went looking for food

•ended up back at Tony’s from night before for green and yellow curry, obviously. Creatures of habit

•drinking cocktails into the night on the beach and chatting with the waiter and waitress (think she’s pissed too)

•cocktails made us rack up a £70 bill but it was so worth it, called it a late bday celebration as if that justifies it..

•got a taxi through the hills to Patong - AMAZING views on the way😍

•checked in to our £6 a night private room at a hostel on the outskirts of town. Pretty sure the bed is a slab of concrete and the pillows are filled with air... can’t wait to sleep tonight

•explored the town, walked for miles

•stopped for lunch at Nicky’s Handlebar and made the mistake of getting my red curry medium rather than mild. Left the restaurant crying and with a sudden cold

•let down by google maps again after looking for a highly-rated massage place in the complete wrong end of town! Walked 1.5miles to find it

•SO WORTH IT!!! The reviews weren’t lying. 350 bhat for 1 hour thai massage

•brutal but relaxing at the same time

•got the giggles for a solid 10 mins though as heard a male snoring (he clearly wasn’t getting a Thai massage) and he was proper going for it. Originally thought it was ben and he thought it was me 😂

•pretty sure my masseuse was gay and was going to try and kiss me. It’s quite an odd experience having a butch thai lady climbing your body

•dinner of Thai curries again, I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of them

•as predicted, sleep was shit. Definitely had more comfortable nights on floors...

•both woke up and the first thing we did was search for another place

•went to patong gym and the equipment was older than patong itself, proper rough iron gym but good!

•back to sweet lemongrass massage for Thai massage number 2! My braid fell out at the gym and she replaited it halfway through 😭 cute. Tip fishing or lovely? Tipped her anyway

•grabbed a taxi to Phuket Town. Almost died multiple times and the matey definitely thought he was Schumacher

•checked into new place and the bed ACTUALLY MOVES WHEN YOU SIT ON IT and we have TWO PILLOWS!! Each! Heaven

•such a nice little town, perfect mix of busy and quiet for us

•dinner at the most romantic restaurant we’ve ever been to (which was completely accidental, just chose the busiest place)

•waiters came and topped up your drink every 2 fucking minutes. Ok mate, get your sleeve out my curry

•one guess what we had for lunch AND dinner.... :)

•another good sleep - woo!

•weather is absolutely shite though. Heaviest rain I’ve ever heard and strong winds

•went to a cool gym, practically empty

•poisoned with oats in a protein shake

•took shelter from the rain in a cat cafe which was actually really cheap and tasty (you could pet the cats, they weren’t the food...)

•made it back just in time before another heavy downpour which continued all day!

•forced to stay in hotel room until it eased off

•went looking for a highly rated Thai place which turned out to be closed on Sunday (thanks again google!) so ended up at “cottage restaurant” opposite

•pretty waitresses outside and a really shit name (I hate the word cottage🤢), we should’ve known it wasn’t going to be good

•bland food but it wasn’t the worst. Obviously ben loved it, mr bland

•found a pool bar! Had some drinks and played a few games of pool

•went back to the same gym as yesterday, less the protein shake

•weather’s cleared up - BLUE SKY!

•found the Thai place! Very very basic, literally a street food stand with a few tables

•only Thai people eating here - which is a good sign, yeah, but you know when you walk into a locals-only pub and get stared at? Yep that was us. I think the birds stopped singing too

•AMAZING food!! And cost us £4! Came with loads of sauces and sides. Trip advisor wasn’t lying😍

•orange sweet and sour sauce was the absolute tits

•spoke too soon about the weather. Grey sky.... and a shit load of rain and wind too

•walked for miles to find somewhere for dinner. Apparently Monday’s are their day of rest.. surely people still gotta eat?! Found a Thai place (obv)

•checked out of hotel (best so far - Tee Pak Dee)

•got soaked through to the bone walking to the gym

•back to Thai place for food again! She remembered us and our order. Will go back when we return to Phuket

•been bitten 5 times on my leg by the same fucker whilst waiting in hotel reception for taxi 😰

•coach from Phuket to Bangkok tonight - 14.5 hours!

•our coach had no air con so moved to later time but free upgrade to VIP, happy days

•seats fully recline, USB ports, air con, blanket... bluestar needs to up it game!

•binged a whole season of Marcella before trying to sleep (for a whole 3 hours)

•arrived in Bangkok 6am

•post code of air bnb took us to Chinatown. Spot the lost tourists..

•finally find the place about a mile away. Walk with our huge backpacks. Ouch

•walk to marble temple, pretty cool

•walk many more miles

•go past a group of cliche backpackers (elephant trousers, long hair, the lot) “hey man you just been to big booodha?” “Nah we’re looking for a bar mate” (it was 10.30am)

•sucked into a trap. Nice lady offers advice to the obviously lost and bothered white people. Sets us up with a tuk tuk and an itinerary for the afternoon including a £20 each boat trip which neither of us were up for. Tuk tuk driver our best pal in the world until we tell him we don’t want to do the boat tour. So much for “whatever you do today I wait for you, 1 hour, 2 hour no bother” lol ok bye mate

•paid £1.50 to see the “standing Buddha”. Standing, apparently, because of all the bloody scaffolding!

•a small toddler befriended me in a shop, followed me around and then touched my leg and peered up my skirt

•went to Khao San Road (touristy strip with bars etc). Drank too much.

•absolute write off of a day

•hanging so so bad. 2 for 1 cocktail buckets for £4 each was dangerous

•lesson learned: go to expensive bars so we don’t drink so much and to prevent killer hangovers!

•slept all day practically

•all I want is a kebab and chocolate. Thailand has an awful selection of sweets and chocolate! M&Ms it is

•checked out of Bangkok air bnb

•went to McDonald’s where you actually got a plate and cutlery?!?

•walked for miles to find laundry - found 2 and both shood us away 😂

•not a fan of Bangkok. Cool nightlife but apart from that it’s not very welcoming or interesting

•headed to bus terminal to wait for bus to Chiang Mai (and spent 6 hours waiting, playing chess)

•came out of the toilet to the entire waiting room standing up and some sort of national anthem playing... attempted to walk back to where ben was sat but was told to stand still. Most awkward I have ever felt! Need to google wtf that was about

•getting a little bored of being stared at wherever we go - we’re the only white people ive seen today!

•also starting to get a little home sick. Probably because I’m not feeling great still and Bangkok is a huge culture shock, will hopefully pass😊

•worst coach journey. Freezing cold and bugs everywhere! Little leg room too

•managed to check into hotel 7 hours early

•slept all day. Still suffering with squits and fever

•10pm and ben starts getting worried considering symptoms started after being bitten by mosquito...

•quick rush to hospital as I start fainting and burning up so bad. Thought I was going to have a seizure I was so hot!

•man from hotel throws me in the back of his car and drives us to Chiang Mai Ram Hospital

•seen by a doc within minutes of arriving

•temp of 40! And high pulse

•admitted to ICU

•lovely staff, really clean hospital and the rooms are nice. Ben even got his own bed!

•wearing an adult nappy as every time I get up to poo my blood pressure drops and I feel like absolute death. still can’t piss lying down though, it’s unnatural!

•still have a high fever so the nurses literally bathe me in bed. Wash my hair, cover me in cold towels, blow dry my hair, plait my hair.... it’s like being at a spa but you feel like shit

•the nurses don’t understand that you need a shit or piss unless you say “pee pee” or “poo poo”

•got bathed again. I feel like such a diva

•moved to an actual ward with a pretty good view and a lovely room. Upgraded to the ritz! Tv, double bed for ben, actual duvets, fridge and mini kitchen stocked with drinks... best place we’ve stayed so far 😂

•fever is gone, yay! “No fever!” says every Thai nurse when they take my temp

•doc said I’ll be in another night at least, until diarrhea has stopped...

•woke up with an appetite for the first time in a week and finished my first meal

•getting bored of being attached to a drip now

•sexiest hospital outfits ever 😂

•whenever I feel sad I just look at the warning signs on my bed. I wonder if anyone has actually ever got themselves in these positions?

•doctor said I could go home this afternoon YAY

•still not feeling completely 100% but I can rest and take medication back at the hotel. Need a good night’s sleep (uninterrupted by nurses exclaiming “no fever!” after every ob preferably)

•sent home with my own hospital bag filled with medication, X-ray and blood test results. They’re so thorough, it’s crazy what you get when you pay for your healthcare

•bumped into the guy back at the hotel who took me to hospital and turns out he’s the manager. Expressed my undying gratitude to him for picking my sweaty arse up off the street and throwing me into his car!

•ordered food using their deliveroo equivalent, food panda. Have you ever seen coke delivered in a bag before? 😂

•rested. Lots

•rest day at the hotel, nothing interesting to report on!

•finally feeling more human

•taking advantage of free delivery from food panda

•explored a local market

•back to the gym - yay!! Only went light but felt good to move more than just bed to toilet

•collected passport and paid bill at hospital - thank fuck for insurance! 44k bhat which is just over £1k. Crazy what you have to pay for but the quality of healthcare is so massively different

•explored local shopping mall

•took advantage of my renewed appetite and ate out for breakfast, lunch, dinner and ice cream

•went to a bar with a pool table that was free 🤩

•checked into new hotel

•gym again. Cheapest place we’ve found so far! No air con but beggars can’t be choosers...

•back to My Grill restaurant for some gains meals

•shopping again! This man is worse than a woman...

•went to gelato world and I shit you not it was the best ice cream I have ever had, and I’d class myself as a bit of a connoisseur! 😍

•IT’S ELEPHANT DAY!!!!

•I couldn’t get to sleep, I was like a kid on Xmas eve. I think this is the most excited my adult self has ever been

•packed into a song thuaew type vehicle with 8 other girls for the journey to the sanctuary. Ben is not pleased

•made friends with the tour guide - called Wer (as in where’s Wer? That joke got old pretty quick) - but ben was shit at understanding him. When he pointed out a “rie feel” (rice field) ben was looking out for rifles

•it was SO GOOD!!

•first we started with feeding the elephants bananas and corn. Most videos make this seem a really peaceful experience when actually these fuckers weigh a ton and they don’t really care what’s in their way! Almost got crushed a few times but completely mesmerised

•went to the mud and scrubbed the elephants down before getting in the river with them and splashing water over them and each other. The guides definitely love turning this bit into one huge water fight!

•ben thought he saw a miniature elephant, so we follow in its direction to find a small group of piglets...

•the guides then brought out the camp’s only baby - ben was clearly shocked at how big baby elephants actually are 😂

•dropped home. Absolutely shattered. The best day and so worth the long journey and money!

•first thai curry (“little spicy”) since being ill - chicken not pork!! Was good

•back to gelato world. Nutella, chocolate banana and white chocolate gelato omg! Just need a salted caramel flavour and I’d never leave. Already begging ben to go back tomorrow 🙏🏼

•elephants + curry + ice cream = a very bloody good day

•gym in the morning. 70B a session isn’t bad! it’s got everything we need and in walking distance

•went to our standard post workout food place called My Grill. Get to choose your meat and carbs, winner!

•walked a mile to the bus station to get our bus tickets to Pai but went to the wrong one... ended up getting them online instead. I love wasting time and ben especially loves me walking him for miles 🙃

•went for a Thai massage and my god were they brutal. It’s one of those experiences where you can’t wait for it to end but at the same time you’re sad when it stops. Painful but satisfying

•pretty sure Ben’s one was just stroking his head at one point, lovingly looking at him..

•explored the Chiang Mai Sunday night market. Just like every other market we’ve been to but so much bigger. It’s about 2km in length! Mad

•went back to the Indian we went to a few nights ago and for the first time this trip I left absolutely stuffed. Platters of Indian food are the answer apparently!

•went back to gelato world for the 3rd night running. Should definitely check if they do a loyalty card? Best. Ice. Cream. Ever. EVER!

•went back to My Grill for brunch. Got there before it opened, keenos

•arrived at Chiang Mai bus terminal (the right one) and left ben to go hunting for white magnums. 6 shops and 20 minutes later..

•minibus to Pai. And when I say minibus, I mean MINIbus. We’ve been truly spoilt with VIP coaches!

•very hot bus filled with Chinese people

•read up a lot that this journey causes a lot of travel sickness so was a little hesitant but it wasn’t too bad. Very very windy, yes, but nothing on French mountain roads!

•literally drove through the clouds at some points

•went past an overturned car on the side of the road with the Indian passengers just standing looking at it. It had clearly only just happened!

•Pai is beautiful. Very different to everywhere else we’ve been. It’s quite rural but the town is just full of cliche backpackers. I think we were the only people not in elephant trousers

•our little hut home is so cute! All you can hear is the bugs outside and surrounded by mountains

•had dinner at a cheap Thai place that was packed which must be a good sign (lesson learnt: go to busy places. If it’s quiet you may get food poisoning again)

•turned around to a cat sat next to me which then proceeded to sit on my menu. I miss Milo and Wince😪

•walked for what seemed like days to the only gym in Pai. Why do no Thai gyms have air con?! I sweat enough in England let alone here

•back to the cheap Thai place for lunch. Best curry we’ve had and we’ve had a few now!

•rented peds for £2.50 each for 24 hours. Everybody here has one! No taxis so it’s basically the only option for transport

•best thing we’ve done! I couldn’t stop grinning all day. I’m surprised I didn’t get any bugs in my teeth

•rode to the Buddha on the hill, all around town and tried to find a waterfall but it was either walk the remaining 5km or try and get our peds over a bamboo bridge... we quickly decided to turn around

•the views!!! No photos can do this place justice. Looking around and just seeing GREEN and mountains and clouds that you can almost touch. I’ve never been one to appreciate nature but this place is stunning

•went to ”maya queen of burgers” for dinner and the chips were to die for

•had some cocktails at a bar in the village but I am 100% put off alcohol for the foreseeable future

•rode to the gym and accidentally ended up going through their morning market - I love these bikes!!

•went for breakfast at the highest rated cafe called Big’s Little Cafe but it’s tiny, just a bar around one grill

•managed to get a seat but this one guy is trying to serve all 10 people around the bar from the tiny grill. Waited about 15 minutes just for other people to get served before he even started ours (ravenous by this point)

•he then starts PEELING THE POTATOES for the hash browns! Realised we’re going to be here a while....

•he then proceeded to add flour to the hash brown mixture, so we got up and left

•found an even better cafe up the road - with actual seats and tables - and we were eating before the previous place had probably even put the bacon on the grill

•handed back the bikes ☹️

•heeeeeavy rainfall! Day in the hotel reading and watching documentaries

•back out to the burger place for dinner

•hotel gave us a free ride into town - yay!

•back for breakfast at same place yesterday and finished with the best milkshake I have ever had: banana, peanut butter and chocolate. Just needed to be white chocolate and would’ve been my idea of heaven😆

•every Chinese person we have seen renting a ped has been driving on the wrong side of the road

•3 hour journey back to Chiang Mai

•Chinese kid in front of ben clearly thought he was in first class on a plane and not a cramped 10 seater minibus when he reclines his seat literally into Ben’s lap. Problem solved by ben adjusting it back to upright on his behalf...

•gorgeous views through the mountains again, almost worth the fear of falling off the narrow roads

•at some points we weren’t sure if we were riding in a minibus or trampoline. The suspension had us bouncing (and giggling) the entire way home!

•new hotel is lush. Twin beds cos apparently 3 weeks in we don’t love each other enough for a double anymore (the doubles in Asia are quite small and sharing a duvet gets too hot)

•back to Grill of India for the third time and gelato world for the fourth. We have a £6/day ice cream habit that we may need therapy for

•it’s nice to be back in Chiang Mai! We loved Pai, it was beautiful, but it was just full of American backpackers talking about meditation and making memories, yuck

•back to our stomping ground gym and My Grill after. I love travelling but I also like a little routine 😇

•cookery lesson with Aon!

•picked up in a song thuaew with an American couple (slightly hoping it was going to be just us but we can attempt to be sociable for a few hours) and went to the market. Shown around and learned about Thai ingredients and what we will be using today

•taken to the open air cooking school

•we would prepare the ingredients together, watch Aon cook the dish, then go away and do it ourselves and then eat

•we made: Tom yum soup, pad Thai, yellow chicken curry (or corry as Thais pronounce it!) and sticky rice with mango for dessert

•everything was SO DELICIOUS. It was so good to try dishes that we otherwise wouldn’t have! Especially given that ben is fussy and I am gluten free it’s hard to sample local dishes from street vendors

•ben loved it! Which I was so happy about as he wasn’t too excited (given that he doesn’t even like cooking and likes all of about 3 vegetables in the world) but he tried everything. Proud

•we bonded with the American couple over both hating backpackers and socialising in general. The irony

•we even got a pdf of loads of Thai recipes to take away with us. Will 100% recommend red chili cooking school to anyone visiting Chiang Mai!

•boring day, probably shouldn’t even waste mine or anyone else’s time writing about it!

•gym, food, laundry, attempted sunbathe under the clouds turned into reading in bed, dinner, traditional prowl for ice cream, bed

•took a photo of the laundry, that’s just how boring the day was

•woke up early (7.30am is now early to us, a few months ago that would’ve been a lie in...) to go and watch the UFC fight at a bar

•got us all fired up for our own fight - Muay Thai lesson at Skykick!

•the best hour of exercise I’ve ever done! The teacher was great, he was funny but really pushed us

•genuinely thought ben was going to pass away at one point. I can’t believe how intense it was! For a beginners taster session I really wasn’t expecting much but wow. I feel like I could beat McGregor myself now!

•spent most of the rest of the day watching Muay Thai, looking up camps for us to go to later in the month to train and clubs in NZ..😇

•went back to the same Indian place and gelato again. We deserved about 8,000 calories and a kilo of carbs after the boxing!

•wanted to find a 7/11 on our way home and accidentally ended up in the slowest current of people at the Sunday market. Our 30 min walk home soon turned into a 45 minute dawdle

•witnessed a small conga line of blind people navigating down the pavement of a three laned road (the front matey had a stick and the rest were very trusting of him). Also found a massage place where the masseurs are blind. There’s a booming blind community in this area apparently

•back to the hotel to research more about Muay Thai. Too soon to buy a pair of shorts? Going to sleep so well tonight and probably wake up v v sore

•went to the gym, printed out Vietnam visas and planned to chill by the pool

•chill by the pool lasted approx 4 minutes for ben until he was too hot and about 34 minutes for me until a wasp made an appearance. Continued my reading in the comfort of bed + AC

•met up with Ben’s friend, Alex, from school who comes to Thailand a lot

•had a drink by the river which was nice until the sun starting setting and mosquitos started to flock to our table

•ended up meeting his Thai friend on the way through town who was disappointed to see me as she thought Alex was bringing her an English man (ben)

•I didn’t think things could get more awkward but no no, they could.... she then asked if her and Alex could come to dinner with me and Ben. There was a long silence before I said “yeah ok” in a voice too high for honesty. Luckily ben had the balls to say no as it was our last night in Thailand and we wanted to have a romantic dinner (which means: no we want to play on our phones and not be sociable with anybody else, thanks)

•ordered 3 curries and 2 rices as we tend to leave Thai places still hungry. Little did we know these were the biggest curry portions we’d ever seen. The owner was not our friend by the end of the meal as we left most of one curry.. sorry kat

•got to the airport ridiculously early again. I am definitely my mother’s daughter

•they do triple cheeseburgers and double Big Macs at the McDonald’s here!

•flight delayed for 45 mins and apparently Vietnamese people don’t do well with delays. They all queued from the original boarding time and kept asking the staff questions. Just wait!

•our smoothest flight yet - yay!

•arrived in Ho Chi Minh through a layer of smog

•bought visas for about £50 in total to then be told that as UK citizens we get 15 days free entry anyway😑

•THE BUSIEST PLACE I HAVE EVER BEEN! Mopeds everywhere, cross roads are a free for all and somebody beeps every few seconds. Madness

•cost us £3 for a taxi from the airport to our hotel (30 min journey)

•found a burger place for dinner. Cultured

•almost got ran over more times than I have eaten ice cream this trip

•already booked our next hotel for a district slightly further out of the centre. The business of where we’re staying - district 1 - is a little overwhelming. There are a lot of nightclubs and loud music so probably suited more for the party travelers! Us boring twats in bed by 10pm every night? Yeah we’ll check out district 2 👍🏼

•I have never seen a bathroom as small as this hotel’s. You could shower and shit at the same time!

•went to Mach’s gym which was good but what is it with Asian gyms not having air con?! It’s colder at pure gym at home

•found some Nandos-like place for lunch which was actually really good

•walked through Ben Tanh Market which is absolutely crazy. Tiny aisles between the stalls and you can’t be caught looking by any of the sellers! “Ah bag, you like bag? Bag for you, miss”. Everything’s always “for you”. Peanuts for you, miss!

•ben doesn’t do well with this selling tactic. One woman thrust a menu at him, to which he replied “get off me!” 😂

•went to the War Remnants Museum which I am so happy we did. I have never been almost reduced to tears by a museum before. The photos on display and the after effects of the war was emotional but so interesting to learn about

•there was an “orange effect” display which showed the aftermath of the chemical weapons used and how, still, people are being born with defects as a result. The gift shop was staffed by these people and to see them in person (including a man with no eyes playing the piano) really hit home

•went to head out for dinner then noticed a leak coming through the wall so moved to a different room from floor 5 to 4 - one less flight of stairs to climb, woo!

•walked a mile to find a highly rated Indian place and, surprise surprise, google lied again. Ended up at a Mexican restaurant NEXT DOOR to our hotel.. best chili ever though

•Vietnamese people are very nice. They can’t do enough for you, are smilier than the Thai and try to engage with you a little more

•headed to a UFC gym that offered a free trial which we applied for online

•(rude) woman at gym told us we needed a code so had to go away and re-register or pay $20 each. No thank you

•coming down the escalator moaning about the gym and the guy in front turns around, hands us his business card - “Al - UFC fitness director” - and asks us what the problem was.

•ends up taking us back into the gym to moan at the woman who dealt with us. We definitely felt like the snitch school kids walking in with the teacher...

•he puts us on the guest list under his name, arranged a full tour of the gym and says we can stay as long we want for free! Crazy. It was definitely the nicest gym I have ever been to in my life. The changing rooms were like backstage of west end!

•the owner of our new hotel/guesthouse is just the loveliest man! He did our laundry for free and is so so sweet

•headed back into D1 for the evening to meet Ban, another of Ben’s friends from school (a closer friend than the last), who has been teaching English here for the last 2 years!

•the traffic lights in Asia have a countdown for the lights which is pretty cool

•Jason, the hotel owner (its more like an air bnb), just wants to do everything for you. I went down for a spoon to eat my yoghurt with and came back with a whole plate of watermelon!

•bagged another free trial at a gym by saying we were living here for the next few months. World’s hottest gym though, will definitely never go back!

•went to some chicken place for lunch after the gym and ordered a half chicken each with chips. The waitress tried to tell us no, that’s for 2 people. Aha no no we can manage thank you

•went to the Bitexco Financial Tower - up to the 49th floor and it definitely gave us vertigo! Going from street level to nearly in line with the smog film in 20 seconds was disorienting

•ben went pretty white and we only stayed up there for about 10 mins but the views were worth it! Pretty sure a storm was coming in, too... I don’t like them from the ground let alone practically touching it

•ordered some amazing food from their delivery service called vietnammmm (I want to be friends with whoever named it)

•starting to think that I need to tan my feet

•36 degrees before 10am

•Jason was trying to arrange for us to go to a closer bus station than where we had booked from but we couldn’t change our Grab journey without it charging us. It’s so sweet that they are such helpful people but at the same time it was a lot of hassle just to ultimately stick to our original plan!

•he’s offered us 10% off if we come back to HCM, bless him💛

•still can’t get over the amount of peds here. Kids just sit on the back dancing, people text whilst riding.. it’s actually mad

•Vietnam bus stations aren’t as organized as the Thai ones! People just stood at the counters waving money at the staff in no sort of queue

•....the coaches are definitely better though! Double decker fully replying seats/beds. So comfy! It’s a shame it’s an 8 hour day journey - sleeping on these would be so easy

•another Thailand vs Vietnam: we’re definitely bigger fans of the Vietnamese snack selection but Thai cuisine wins hands down

•ok I take back what I said about sleeping being easy on this coach... the driver beeps every 10 seconds! I think they must have some sort of beeping system for “I’m overtaking you” and “I’m coming round the corner” rather than how England uses it... but still, shh!

•there is no lane discipline whatsoever. I think we’ve spent most of the time on the wrong side of the road and cars/buses/lorries overtake cars that are already overtaking another vehicle. Basically if there’s tarmac, you can drive on it no matter what direction you’re heading

•witnessed 17 people getting into one car!!!

•ben is poorly :( the pollution and air conditioning really isn’t helping his asthma

•went for breakfast at a bistro where the owner was born in holland and knew of the new forest and beaulieu!

•a crowd was gathering on the street watching a man having his car towed and him full on assaulting the policemen and screaming

•explored the town, market and went down to the lake which is really pretty

•all they sold at the market was coats and hats - they literally treat this place like the arctic! It’s only a little higher altitude and a touch cooler but in no means is it coat weather😂

•Da Lat isn’t exactly what we were hoping it would be. It’s still very busy, just less flat! And even fewer places for us to eat with our annoying limitations

•there’s only one supermarket in the whole town! Which was PACKED. Other than that there are only shitty shops where the products are literally just chucked anywhere and everywhere

•had the best Indian of our lives - ever. So so good. I want to do an Indian cooking course!

•it’s a lot less touristy here so we are back to being the alien white people, getting stared at wherever we go

•ben still not very well! Rest day for him

•went to the gym on my own. Not the most comfortable place to be walking around on my own as a white female (alllll the stares) but I didn’t want to be in bed all day..

•chilled day at the hotel trying to plan next few weeks in Asia

•ben picked the right to not feel good, the weather is shite!

•the pavements are really just parking spaces for all the peds...

•actually can’t wait to leave da lat. the air pollution is SO bad! Even worse than HCM. Maybe something to do with the altitude?

•back to Ganesh Indian 😋

Vietnam vs Thailand

•snacks - definitely Vietnam. Better sweet, crisps and chocolate variety! Thailand is literally m&ms and snickers

•food - Thailand, without a doubt

•traffic - Thailand. Vietnam traffic is something else

•air quality - Thailand again

•people (friendliness) - Vietnam. Vietnamese people can’t do enough for you and are very friendly. A lot of children see that you’re white and shout “hello!”

•people (consideration) - Thailand! Vietnamese people are friendly, yes, but have absolutely no consideration for others, ie moving out of the way on the pavement and just general awareness of others

•gyms - Vietnam!

•leaving dalat - yay!

•3/4 hour bus journey to Nha Trang. Very windy, very bumpy but very scenic. Vietnam countryside beats Thailand

•kid next to us being sick into a bag mid journey, lush

•stopped at some service station in the arse end of nowhere where a very angry woman tried to sell us melted ice cream. No thanks love that’s just cream

•ben can breathe! It’s still quite busy here, as is everywhere in Vietnam, but the sea means there is actually fresh air

•new apartment hotel place is lovely! The bed is firm but soft and we get TWO PILLOWS each. I’m sure I’ve raved about this before but in Asia that’s literally gold dust

•went to the supermarket to get food to cook at our place and the smallest rice bag you can buy is a kilo. We best be in the mood for a lot of rice the next 3 days 😂

•went walking around for about half an hour looking for coconut milk. Most random product I have ever gone hunting for (and failed to find)

•a lot of Russians here

•had a small breakdown that we’re not doing the standard traveling stuff but ben reminded me that we’re doing all the things that we enjoy, which is v true! I’d rather spend our money on gyms and various sports/classes and food because that’s what we enjoy! If we went to some bait waterfall we’d just a) hate all of the hippie backpackers and b) find it pretty for about 10 mins then be bored. Having the best time exploring and doing what we wanna do, so need to stop worrying about what other people are doing

•turned around to ben “doing his stretches” in bed and then took a photo where I look like either a shoe or John Lennon, or both

•had a power cut (3rd one in Asia so far) and the hotel man brought us in a little lantern, bless him. Him and his wife speak absolutely no English though!

•went to a gym round the corner and managed to not pay for it... nobody on reception so we just walked in with the intention of paying on our way out. Nobody there again... should be better manned really

•walked around and explored by the beach and around a shopping centre

•russians literally own this town!

•went to a cathedral that looked really cool on trip advisor but was literally just a cathedral..

•bought tickets (only a quid) from a very unofficial man with just a donation box and a chair

•wasn’t allowed actually into the cathedral as my top was “too small” - why the unofficial ticket man couldn’t have told me that before we paid. But everyone wants ya money don’t they! All 100 pence of it

•technically a millionaire here. Well probably trillionaire! You can have about 6 notes in your hand and it still not even be a pound 😂

•ben still feeling shit. Emergency stop to kfc to get the boy some sugar then head back to hotel

•asked the lady on reception (using google translate) where we could buy onions, she just holds up her hand and comes back 2 mins later with a handful of shallots, bless her

•we boiled chicken and made a Thai satay curry. How Asian are we?

•ben still ill, not sure what’s up with him! He’s just feeling very weak and tired. Hopefully he’ll be back to normal soon!

•went to the gym on my own and managed to just walk in again for free! They seriously need better security 🤔

•hate walking around on my own in Vietnam. Thailand: absolutely fine. I am literally like a walking piece of white meat here

•post workout meal consisted of 5p noodles (which are actually so good it’s ridiculous. Like a gluten free, Asian pot noodle) with tuna and ketchup. Michelin star-worthy

•there was a very angry dog roaming around outside of the gym so I literally ran down the road when I left. The dogs all look stray but the owners are just so blasé and let them roam anywhere!

•bed day, just chilling and trying to nurse ben back to health

•went to the supermarket to get onions and peppers for another curry attempt

•spent about 30 mins looking for a mozzie in our room. And that means I was in the toilet and ben was flapping a towel around trying to find it... I’m not good with the mozzie worry!

•went to the gym on my ones again

•raining so hard!!! It was a good cover up for how sweaty I was though

•hotel let us check out a few hours later after a long time spent trying to communicate via google translate

•walked a mile to find an atm with free cash withdrawals. Couldn’t find it. Spent 2% fee at the nearest atm instead. Successful

•went looking for our bus company in preparation for later on but to no avail! Also needed to change our Đồng into USD.. found several banks with currency exchange rates being advertised by they all told us that they only take usd for Đồng and not the other way round!

•Vietnamese people just shake their hand above their head like they’re screwing in a lightbulb/dancing in Bollywood if they don’t understand you. Odd as fuck

•went into a Russian tourist information center asking where we could buy usd and THEY DID!!! That Russian man made our day. ALSO found our bus company right next door to the tourist center. God bless the Russians ❤️

•late lunch/dinner at lanterns restaurant which was alright but the curry was so rich and heavy. I ate it so quick and felt proper sick afterwards. But that settled when I noticed the ice cream, obviously

•banana, peanut butter and salted caramel pan ice cream. I couldn’t write a better love story myself🤤

•10 hour overnight bus back to HCM before heading straight to Phnom Penh!

•finally fell asleep about 1am to be rudely awoken at 4am to us arriving - 2 hours early!!

•quite cool to see Saigon this early. Crossing the road is far less dangerous

•spent 3 hours in McDonald’s sponging their WiFi and regular hash brown breaks

•had a fight with the world’s biggest mozzie in the bus stop place. Seriously this thing could fly through walls it was huge

•Vietnam exit border was chaos. Spent 45 minutes in a crowd (the Vietnamese don’t do queues) whilst our passports just sat in a pile on the only officer’s desk. People kept coming in and handing their passports with a 20k Đồng bribe! Absolute nightmare

•got back on coach to travel all of 100m to the Cambodian entrance border. The difference 100m can make in etiquette is mad... metal railings to distinguish each desk’s queue, people being served in order and no bribes!!

•sweet guy on the bus became our translator for the entire journey. Whenever we stopped the driver would shout Vietnamese instructions which left us in obvious confusion. He even explained the border crossing procedure to us! An English handout would’ve been nice

•walked 3km to our hotel from the bus stop. Definitely a lot further than we initially thought

•was avoiding the sudden downpour by staying under shelter whilst walking but accidentally ended up with a load of chefs in a street food kitchen just saying “sorry” a bunch of times

•had dinner at an Indian, naturally. Best tandoori chicken I’ve ever had. Ever

•cockroach welcoming us to Phnom Penh at the atm 👍🏼

•longest day ever. Ready for 19 hours of sleep please

•slept for about 11 hours straight

•chose a gym an hour away a) because it was the cheapest and b) so we could walk there and explore on the way

•it’s so weird cos you pay for things in dollars but get Riel as change and you can also mix currencies to make up the change ie a dollar bill and 600 Riel to make $1.25

•tuktuk driver called something like Macarena tried to get us to book him tonight for boxing match. He told us to remember his face and then proceeded to stroke his mole hair at us

•bought some new gym clothes from the market all for about $10 because I’m a sweaty pig and we can’t afford to do laundry as often as I sweat through my clothes 🙂

•Found a different tuktuk driver called Jon. Pretty sure that’s not his birth name though

•taught us some Cambodian on the way to boxing: Leehow = bye, Atay akun = no thank you, Akun giran = thank you very much. Ben’s nailed “no thank you” and will no doubt resort to this phrase in every situation going forward

•turned up to the tv studio, following the crowd in with Jon, when a guy with a headset takes us round the back, searches us and charged us a dollar each. No idea what was happening

•then takes us in back stage and we were convinced that this was actually some tourist beating place and we were going to be a part of the boxing match

•we then come out actually on the stage (???!!!). I didn’t know it was possible to get stage fright when you didn’t even know you were due to perform

•directed around the boxing ring in front of the entirely-Cambodian audience to seats literally ringside amongst other white people and tourists. Apparently this is where the people sit who pay! And it was like 70p!!

•most surreal and coolest experience ever. 3 fights (Cambodia v Thailand in each) with a mix of Muay Thai and Khmer boxing which was televised live nationally!

•in between each fight we had the pleasure of a Cambodian singer accompanied by ladyboy dancers miming little mix

•Jon took photos of us to send to his wife, cute or weird but mainly cute. He drove us 30 mins to the studio, sat with us for the 2 hours (god knows how many fights he’s seen now) and then drove us back all for $8! He lives here for a couple of months at a time but his family are near the Vietnam border. Bless this man ❤️

•arranged to meet Jon outside our hotel at 10.30 but he was late... a younger guy came running over with Jon on the phone who explained to ben he’d be 20 mins or so. BLESS. HIM.

•went to the killing fields. Absolutely mad that it was so recent and the fact that almost 1/3 of the entire Cambodian population was killed...

•still a lot of other killing fields throughout the country that haven’t been excavated as there are active land minds

•went to the genocide museum/S21 prison which was also massively eye opening to the horrific stuff that happened just 30 years or so ago

•walked back to our hotel via the biggest shopping mall ever (literally the size of heathrow) purely to find hand wraps for boxing but no sports direct here!

•everybody is so bloody friendly it’s insane, especially considering the genocide that happened so recently

•the locals absolutely love it when we reply in Khmer! Literally love it

•saw some guys playing some sort of foot badminton next to the river

•complaining the last day or so that our room was too hot. Apparently fan speed 5 means slow and 1 is fast? That’s completely illogical but ok

•tried the national dish of amok which was actually really nice. Like a Thai green curry but without the spice and unnecessary herby vegetable shit

•moved hotels! Thank fuck for that. We almost grilled in that hotel room, even with the fan on speed 1

•our tuk tuk driver evaded being pulled over quite impressively. Stopped at a red light and, halfway into the journey, he decided to put his helmet on? We were confused but then noticed the dozens of police down the next road. We all cheered as we went past them 😂

•had another Cambodian curry for lunch. I’m a fan

•walked to another market which was HUGE and another mall - in the proper suburbs so we were definitely the novelty white people once again

•it’s crazy how when we first arrived in Phuket we were so nervous of all the traffic. There is no order whatsoever in Asia but it somehow works. Now we can walk along 6-laned roads with no pavements and it just feels normal! Reckon crossing the m3 would be piss easy now

•accidentally found an Indian for dinner again... starting to think we should add India to our destination list?

•woke up to a car playing a polyphonic cover of Celine dion’s ‘my heart will go on’. If any song was ever going to be released in a polyphonic version that would definitely be my first choice

•kept awake by the sound of roosters. Did we check into a farm?

•had the best burger I have ever had in my entire life for lunch. The brioche was gluten free! And the chips were double cooked in some kind of heavenly oil because they were fucking phenomenal. 10/10

•got talking to the owner (bloke from Brighton who’s lived here for 6 years) and tells us about the good salaries for working as English teachers here. Ben and I have pinkie promised that after NZ we will come back here to live and work to save up for travelling America😆😆😆

•had a nap seeing as my sleep was so musically interrupted this morning...

•went to another market (!) and still didn’t find the hand wraps ben has been looking for

•back to the burger place for dinner. It was that good I’d go again for breakfast tomorrow if they were open before we have to leave ☹️

•this is the first place I haven’t wanted to leave! The only place so far I could see myself staying long-term. The people, the food, the business, the atmosphere... I haven’t stopped smiling since we arrived

•had every intention of getting up at 6:45 to grab some breakfast before our coach to Siem Reap but even the promise of a full English couldn’t get us out of bed at that time! Those 4:50 alarms are a very distant memory...

•chose to sleep for an extra hour instead

•made it to the coach 20 mins before departure but had no cash or food or drink on us. We were supposed to get all this from the atm and mini mart next to our hotel but it wouldn’t accept MasterCard :(

•had a very small breakdown due to having absolutely no food and drink for a 6 hour journey. And when I say small breakdown, I mean I looked solemnly out of the window and cried. I may also have refused to talk to ben for at least a couple of hours

•we stopped at a restaurant halfway through the journey and it was torture to watch everybody else enjoy food 💔

•arrived in Seam Reap and went straight for food (obviously)

•soooo many tourists here! A very lovely area with lovely locals - it’s still Cambodia! - but a lot of typical backpackers, hostels and tacky bars

•had some emergency surgery on my big toe to remove the ingrown toenail that became infected. $12 and all the ladies stayed late (and watched intently),, gave us free water, filed and polished all of my other toenails and managed to get out both ingrown nails! Magic

•tipped the lady $5 and she honestly looked like she was about to cry, she was so shocked and happy! I’d have payed £50 to have them sorted

•accidentally fell into an Indian again. It was a really steep hill and we literally just tripped and landed at the table...

•went to yet another non-air conditioned gym. I will never complain about an English gym not having the air con on again!

•found a lovely Khmer restaurant that offered cooking lessons - all booked in for tomorrow woo

•they do Sprite Zero here 😵 first zero drink apart from Diet Coke I’ve found in Asia!

•they also have a pretty good chocolate/sweet selection in Cambodia, too. Moving here purely for that reason

•met our tuk tuk driver ready to go to Angkor wat to then be told it’s $37 entry EACH. We didn’t want to go that bad!!! Ended up being shown around the countryside instead for $6

•it’s crazy the divide between rich and poor. Well, more crazy at the lack of actual divide; you’ll have a gated, marble house right next to a whole load of corrugated iron shacks

•adding to our Khmer vocabulary! They absolutely LOVE it when you speak Khmer, it’s so sweet

•being with ben learning the basics of another language is what I imagine having a small child learning its first words is like. Any Cambodian we see he just starts reeling off every Khmer word he knows

•I have also taken on the role of translator for ben, translating both his Khmer to the Cambodian people as his memory is shite and also Cambodian people’s English to him as he struggles to understand their accent 😂

•pathetic sized bananas in Asia. You get normal ones too but what is the point of these bite sized versions??

•went to the restaurant for our cooking class and started off by visiting the market. First experience of shopping in a dark market by torchlight/candlelight as they had a power cut..

•saw the tiniest kitten I have ever seen! And it was stray :(

•the cooking lesson was in the actual restaurant’s tiny kitchen. Felt a bit in the way of the other chefs, especially considering you could probably fit 4 people in there stood still, let alone actually trying to cook

•we both chose Cambodian chicken curry for main and sweet potato in coconut for dessert but chose different starters: I had fresh spring rolls and ben had fried spring rolls as I didn’t think they would be gluten free

•turned out both were made with rice paper and Ben’s were bloody amazing. Mine were way too herby but still nice enough

•had to ask San, the chef, to wash his hands after he handled raw chicken and then started touching all of my veg.. apparently Cambodians aren’t aware of salmonella. Bodes well for confidence in their food safety!

•aside from difference in hygiene opinions, the food was fucking incredible. Cambodian chicken curry is quite similar to Thai yellow curry but a little sweeter and spicier. SO GOOD! And who’d have thought we’d like sweet potato in a dessert? It was boiled in coconut milk with these weird honey/frog’s spawn ball things

•went to the gym in the evening - for a change - and I think I sweated the entire water content of my body out. Mozzies would’ve had no chance biting me as they’d have just slid straight off

•yesterday we got out the last of our budget for Cambodia but somehow lost $10 of it. Scraped a $6 dinner all for the sake of not getting out more cash from an atm as they charge $6 in withdrawal fees! True cheapskate backpackers now ✌🏼

•up at 6.15am to catch our bus to Bangkok. Earliest morning in forever

•had to officially “exit” Cambodia and then walk a few hundred meters to the Thai border

•stood in a queue (an actual chained queue! Vietnam need to take note) for what seemed like a year to get into Thailand. Why do I always feel like a criminal when stood in front of immigration?

•realised we’ve accidentally come to Thailand a day early. Our visa expires the day before our flight to Singapore, oops...

•miss Cambodia already. Thai people are rude and nothing like our Khmer pals 😢

•went to a restaurant where everything is <100 baht except they completely forgot Ben’s meal. I had finished mine by the time they realised and then we just left and he got a McDonald’s which he was prob a lot happier with, especially as it was a double Big Mac

•bought some wraps for our boxing camp!

•glad we’ve given Bangkok another go. We’re in a much nicer area this time which is a lot more modern - they actually buildings with windows, doors and air con?! Never going back to the side we were at last time

•managed to get a 3 day free trial at anytime fitness (with air con *angel chorus*) by saying we were in Bangkok for a few years. Did this in HCM too. Masters of blagging free shit

•rode the BTS (skytrain/monorail thing) which is really efficient and nowhere near as busy and grimy as the tube

•dragon fruit and papaya are disgusting

•made a yellow curry which turned into a brown curry but was delicious. Having our own cooking facilities is so good!

•supposed to go to Muay Thai but my back was playing up so went for a massage instead

•weird how much the Thai massages differ - every shop has their own special routine. This one was a bit too soft (give me pain!!) but was still good

•woken up at 2am by the air con basically giving up and then started to make some crazy noises. Room was like an oven

•reception gave us another room to sleep for the rest of the night in but had obviously been roasting in the sun all day - another oven!

•finally get to sleep at 4am and the 7 o clock alarm for Muay Thai was definitely turned off :(

•decided to skip Muay Thai and go to the gym again, as it was free. “You guys signing up today?” lol maybe tomorrow...

•started to walk back to our hotel to save money rather than get BTS but I needed a piss so bad and we got on 2 stops later. Saved a whole 6 baht (about 20p) 👍🏼

•had a mini meltdown. Not sure if it’s being back in Bangkok or a bout of home sickness but I just felt sad.

•unpopular opinion but Thailand isn’t my favourite! The people are generally quite hostile and I feel like everybody is trying to rip me off. Which is the complete opposite of Cambodia (which I wanted to nickname Bodie but ben said no) where the people are just so lovely and genuine. I felt happier there! But we are only back in Thailand with a purpose of exploring the islands and doing lots of sport, so ☺️

•went to a Gracie-certified BJJ class which was really cool! Lesson 23 in Gracie combatives which is essentially self defense. Got to wrestle and throw ben on the floor which let out a bit of frustration haha

•walked past a load of girls stood on their own very scantily dressed. Soon realised they were definitely prostitutes

•made another dank yellow curry. However, it’s nice having cooking facilities but now all of our clothes stink of curry!!

•a nightmare of a morning.

•ran around for about 40 mins looking for an iPhone charger as both of our dodgy ones decided to pack up in the night. No proper shops open until 10am in Thailand? Lazy

•eventually found some in the 7-11 right near our hotel 😑

•turn up to catch our bus to Kanchanaburi at the bus terminal, as our ticket clearly stated. Was then told we were at the wrong place and we had to go across the road and down the street! All of this running around was not fun with our 16kg bags on our back

•arrive to our bus with 10 mins to spare to then be told that we needed to book a seat for our luggage. You what? This is probably our 20th bus (albeit only 3rd minibus, but still..) and never have we ever had to do that! Ben threw our bags onto the floor in front of our seats and we sat cross legged for a good half of the journey, until the German couple behind us offered us some of their luggage space

•arrived in Kanchanaburi which is cool. Not much going on but a nice break from Bangkok!

•place where we had dinner (supposedly 3rd best here according to TripAdvisor) was showing some weird shit on tv. Started with shamu shows and then changed to bull attacks on humans. Perfect dining entertainment

•went on the Thailand - Burma railway which was built by WWII prisoners and nicknamed “death railway” as 100,00 of them died during construction

•1.5 hour journey up to “krase cave” where you can walk out on the trackers overlooking the River Kwai

•amazing views and scenery!

•the trains stops every so often what seems like in the middle of nowhere where local people and monks get out. So weird

•waiting on the platform to get the train back when a woman throws a bit of food out of the window as the train is still moving which clocks me right in the face! Ben went straight to her carriage to make her feel embarrassed. She was very defensive and just said “it was only a bit of food, get over yourself”. You had the whole journey to throw something out of the window, why choose as you’re pulling into a platform? Silly English witch

•got off at the bridge over the River Kwai. Really beautiful place ruined by the horde of tourists (admittedly we were one of them)

•went to a buffet hot pot place for dinner which we’ve been saying we’ll do for a while. Basically, you get a pot of chicken stock on an induction hob thingy and choose your meat, veg and noodles and cook it yourself!

•waitress brought us some chips too. Was that because we’re white?

•walked through the Thai outback for what felt like forever to a gym

•went past a few shedded snake skins. Safe to say we walked a bit quicker than usual and in the middle of the road

•ate at the second highest rated restaurant in town which was a burger place but it was very over cooked and they didn’t even get my order right ☹️

•wanted to go to “the big tree” (literally what it says on the tin) but taxis wanted about £12 to go 5 miles! That’s double what we paid to get here from Bangkok!! No thank you

•had the most budget dinner of noodles - made in glasses due to lack of bowls - and tuna. Made up for it with 2 ice cream sundaes at KFC though

•up at 5.45am to catch a bus back to Bangkok

•hotel lady insisted she drive us to the bus station this morning but she was nowhere to be found when we needed to leave.. only 10 min walk away which we wanted to walk anyway

•this time we actually booked 3 tickets, one each and then one for our luggage, but the bus was practically empty!

•got to Bangkok an hour early and anticipated waiting 3 hours til our next bus to Chumphon but they had space on the 9am one 🤣 ran (literally, it wasn’t pretty) straight to the platform and straight on the bus wooo

•stopped halfway for food which was only street food style carts that we haven’t been brave enough to eat from yet but then got pointed to a seated area by a man saying “free food”. You don’t need to tell me twice

•went in and everyone from our bus was sat at tables with bowls of curries and rice laid out. A family of 3 waved us over and told us to sit with them

•the dad then started serving us up some rice and we helped ourselves to what looked like a yellow but turned out to be the spiciest fish curry ever. I only took a little whereas ben piled his on 😂

•had to finish everything (without any water to help it down) as we didn’t want to disappoint our new, temporary family

•ran straight for ice cream after

•got dropped in the middle of nowhere in Chumphon. The one time we don’t get ambushed by tuk tuk and taxi drivers is when we actually really wanted one! \240

•a very boring day, not even sure why I’m bothering to write about it

•went to the gym 3 times. First time to see that it didn’t open until 12, next time gone 12 but still nobody there! And 3rd at 3 when somebody actually turned up

•I messaged them after the second attempt and they felt so bad that we were waiting outside, they gave us a session for free 👍🏼

•went to an arcade as there are so many in Asia, we wanted to see what the fuss was about. Embarrassed ourselves on a dance mat (that was diagonal and had a centre pad, wtf?!)

•people looooove their suped up cars here! Everything is slammed, on some crazy alloy design or got some ratchet exhaust attached

•had a full day of eating microwaved shit from 7-eleven

•really took for granted how easy it was to eat gluten free at home! I am refined to only curries and rice or microwaved shit from the shop here. Worse things have happened, I know, but I just love food :(

•the helmets they wear here are only like £4 each. I bet they would pass all EU regulations!!

•slept and chilled for the rest of the day. Early mornings, broken sleep and long bus journeys are slowly killing me

•got a catamaran to Koh tao

•the amount of white people on this boat sets the scene of how touristy it’s going to be...

•travelled parallel to the rain - so weird! One side sunny, the other pure grim

•got ripped off £10 to get a taxi a couple of km to our hotel. Most expensive taxi yet... tourist money trap I think! It was the only taxi rank on the island as everybody just rents peds here (for about a quarter of the price too!!)

•why are we always on the top floor of hotels? They never have lifts either 😂

•found a real cheap Thai place found the corner with lots of cats and the food was sooo good

•chilled for the early evening as a lot of early mornings and travelling still has us pooped

•went to the “best place” according to trip advisor on Koh tao but the place we had lunch was wayyyy better and so much cheaper 🧐

•went to the gym. Cost us a tenner. Stayed for nearly 2 hours to get our money’s worth

•had a message from a girl in my year at school to say that I just walked past her - creepy small world??

•tried to go back to the yellow curry heaven but she wasn’t about :( ended up at some place with a fairly decent green curry instead

•all I post about is food but that’s generally all we’re doing - going to the gym, eating and walking around!

•walked down sairee beach which was a lot quieter than I expected. Everyone was probably still pissed/hungover in bed

•beautiful island but I imagine it was paradise about 20 years ago. Overrun with backpackers and bars and bait tourist traps (expensive taxis, for example). Everything is like double the price in shops too, wtf is that about?

•accidentally found some articles about this being dubbed “death island” for the mysterious deaths and murders of backpackers here over the years. The couple murdered in 2014 were found on sairee beach where we had been walking just 10 mins before 😳

•booked to go to Koh Pha-ngan on Friday which a SE Asia backpacking Facebook group has told me is a lot quieter. Let’s hope so!

•went back for second round of yellow curry and I swear it was better than yesterday this woman is a culinary queen. She’s so sweet too!

•got about 4 hours sleep. Stressing about our next move and wasting our time somewhere we don’t like. Just got to make the most of a bad situation though!

•went for a “massage with a view”. Definitely a view but the massage was a little bit more like a fight. I swear the lady hated me? There were no smooth transitions of placing my leg delicately back on the bed, she literally just dropped it. If she wanted my leg straight she just pushed on my knees. And when she started to stretch out my back I swear to god I was part of an exorcism. She gave a good neck massage though I’ll give her that

•walked “just down the road” (soz ben) to a restaurant with a view over Koh nungyen. Turned out it was just down quite a long road that was almost vertical at some points

•one of THE best curries I have ever had!! Sooo worth the walk. Chicken massaman hello I am very pleased to have met you

•petrol is just sold in old whiskey bottles on the side of the road. Haven’t seen a single petrol station

•rain and grey skies for the rest of the day = chilling in bed and napping for the afternoon

•back to yellow curry queen (or its actual name: Thai samosa restaurant) for dinner. The place was rammed and she only has 2 woks! Ended up waiting a while but she brought us a coconut curry she accidentally made. Think she’s our pal now

•there is definitely a lot of cross contamination of gluten with there being only 2 woks. Have spent the last 2 nights nursing a bowling ball belly but it is totally worth the bloat and farts. Ben agrees I’m sure 😇

•watched an electric storm in the night. Pretty cool! I’m getting better with storms. If I’m in bed in a sturdy building, fine. Put me in any form of transport or outside or near big trees it’s a huge no

•rain continued ALL DAY

•nothing to do except spend a couple of hours at the gym and really get our £10 worth!

•had a lazy one watching films, doing puzzles on the iPad and listening to podcasts (my new obsession) in between multiple power cuts

•went for dinner during a power cut hoping our yellow curry queen would have power but she didn’t! She saw our wet selves and instantly just said “2 yellow curries?” and, the goddess that she is, cooked by torchlight for us 😭

•candlelit dinner surrounded by only cute cats and Ethel herself - no tourists, yay! She even served us up a huge bowl of ice cream for free too (probably trying to shift stock thinking the power was never coming back)

•woken up extra earlier by strong winds and torrential rain

•waited at the pier for a boat to Koh Pha-ngan in the pouring rain and wind for what felt like forever

•the sea was so calm in the bay and ben assured me that the journey would be even smoother than the one here....

•....as soon as we get out of the bay it is literally a miniature, water equivalent of the alps. It’s never a good sign when the staff are giving out sick bags!

•luckily got a spot outside but man it was the choppiest (choppy doesn’t even do it justice!) boat journey I’ve ever been on. Had to grab a sick bag for myself at one point. Finally arrive 1 hour later 🤮

•new hotel is lovely! Have our own little hut and the resort is right on a beautiful beach. Even got driven all 20m from reception to our hut by golf cart (definitely not a hostel lol)

•ben smashed the clay potted light outside our hut with his bag as soon as he stepped off the cart... welcome to us! :/

•rain, rain and more rain. Inches and inches of rain. So much rain

•shoes ruined by looking for food in the evening but to no avail.. 7-11 dinner it is then!

•breakfast buffet at hotel included in our booking oh hello (except the bacon was served in a tray in top of bread.. rude)

•started our 45 min trek to the gym through inches of rain (their drainage system is pretty crap here, it just flows down the roads to the beaches!) where we bought a poncho each and then found a bike rental place. That made the rest of the journey a little easier!

•cool jungle gym

•got absolutely soaked. My poncho hood kept falling down so I just accepted that I was going to get wet

•everyone here is so hippie, they all walk around bare foot and so so many yoga retreat places and vegan restaurants

•dinner at hotel restaurant as everywhere apparently closes when it’s torrential rain! Luckily had a patch of dry for the sunset :)

•set off on our bikes to find a little island off the north coast attached by a beach. Didn’t appreciate just how hilly this island is and ben forgot his inhaler 🙄

•didn’t even get halfway before we both decided to turn back and go to the beach not even 50m from our bed!

•the hills are practically vertical. It makes sense why everyone has motorbikes instead of bicycles now...

•ben cheated death after narrowly escaping a jellyfish sting (which he then insisted I come towards him to look at it. No thanks pal)

•spent £10 on a snorkel which we used for all of 5 mins until the jellyfish incident scared us back to shore

•went for a walk and got lost in 2 labrynths of resorts. Found the next beach down and it was the most tense beach ever?? We stepped on and everyone (yogis mainly) stared at us as we had just stumbled upon a private event. Pretty sure all beaches are public but ok then bye

•massages at our resort with the sunset behind us. Best Thai massage I’ve had so far!

•spent an hour or so trying to get a lizard out of our room. Ben got frustrated and gave up. Definitely going to wake up to a lizard nibbling my toes or something 🤢 we also have a resident cockroach living under our sink

•Koh phangan’s yogi-ness has gotten to us and we’ve started doing stretches daily. Hopefully it’ll help!

•was going to go to a meditation class but it was gonna be £20 just to pay to sit in a room and breath quietly. We downloaded our own meditation stuff on YouTube and did it on the beach for free 😂

•had a pretty decent lunch at some health cafe thing. Went straight through me though didn’t it :/

•cycled to the gym and got talking to some guy from buckinghamshire who now lives here! Also saw the happiest dog again

•went in the pool and sunbathed on the beach for a bit but then got chased off by ants

•ben has water stuck in his ear from the pool so he spent most of the evening with his head in various positions trying to get it out. It’s still there the next morning

•had to leave my £3 sziget shoes at the hotel as they have finally lost the battle against the tropical weather. Rip ❤️

•found out the rest of the ferries after our very bumpy one here were cancelled due to the waves! Cheated death yet again 😅

•very quick and calm boat trip over to Koh samui with a chicken on board (?!)

•checked into Superpro Samui which looks awesome! Got upgraded to an apartment for the first half winner winner

•had a pineapple curry which was actually the tits. Whoever thought of putting pineapple in a spicy curry is a god

•I’m actually quite sad I wasted so much time on green curries. They have so many pointless vegetables and too many fragrant herbs in! Massaman, yellow and pineapple curries are where it’s at (only I would get sad about food and write about it)

•first bjj lesson was so good! Only a small group of about 6 or 7 but everyone was really friendly and the coach is really good

•the camp is so cool! 3 big Muay Thai rings with a big training area, a gym, pool and matted mma/bjj area. This is heaven! I can walk 10 meters to the gym as many times as I like😝

•bjj (no gi) in the morning and then again in the afternoon. Bjj clashes with Muay Thai and we’d rather do the jujitsu so focusing more on that

•I never realised grappling required so much effort. All of the drills the coach has us doing (rocking our bodies up and down the mats etc) has me aching head to toe already

•had the best massaman so far for lunch. Didn’t take a photo, too hungry

•promised a sweet lady yesterday that we would come to her place for dinner today. Sat down to eat, turned to our left and saw said sweet lady at the restaurant next door. Oops 😳

•had the best yellow for dinner though. A very good day for training and eating! My appetite is through the roof with all of this walking, gym and bjj 🤤

•Muay Thai starts just before 8am every morning and we’re right next to the training areas so we have a nice alarm of a ringing bell every morning😑

•bjj morning class was tough! Loads of core work and I am so sore already

•feel a little bit like we’re in game of thrones as the teacher, who is French/Canadian, refers to men as “sir” and females “the girl” (even his own girlfriend haha). “Ah yes the girl has it”

•made it to the restaurant for lunch that we were supposed to go to last night. The woman remembered us and was happy we came!

•chilled and napped. I hurt

•evening class was a little less intense and learned a couple of self defense moves and chokes (my favourite was the anaconda where you roll the other person over your head and then get them in a neck choke)

•I really couldn’t do one self defense move where ben had to push on the back of my knee so I fell to the floor on my side. I panicked and just flopped face down 😂

•also had my elbow nearly broken by an older dude trying to help us. Apparently my arms were supposed to be bent and not locked straight! When he tried to do something it crunched so loud and I made a very loud “owww!” sound. Poor guy felt awful. I felt more awful for making him feel awful

•got my first jujitsu injury from an anaconda roll - ouch! On my way to cauliflower ear within the first week of starting lol

•coach messaged me on Facebook to tell us that we are both really good! Yay, think we’ve both found a hobby we could be good at

•another 2 bjj classes and our bodies are aching head to toe

•the evening class he made us run for a long time for the warm up but only because we were focusing mainly on leg locks which was fun!

•back for the best massaman for dinner mmmmm

•no bjj classes at the weekend, cry :(

•had every intention of going to the morning Muay Thai class but all of my sports shorts were at the launderette so went to the gym instead

•walked 3km in the boiling sun with no shade respite to a huge tesco. Saw a pylon thingy disguised as a very tall palm tree, nice try haha

•had the best chicken and rice for lunch in their amazing food court. It’s called hainanese chicken and it’s essentially just boiled chicken and rice with an amazing sweet chilli sauce and a side of chicken broth

•ben will never understand my love for looking around foreign supermarkets 😂

•came out to a huge thunderstorm, where’d you go sun?

•taxis here are SO EXPENSIVE! So we were forced to walk but ended up in a barbers for both shelter and to get ben looking less hobo-y

•practiced some bjj drills instead of evening Muay Thai class. It honestly just doesn’t look appealing, more like boxercise

•had to move from our apartment to a smaller room but at least the air con reaches us better now! And we’re not right next to the ringing bell at 8am every morning, hooray

•walked back to tesco for some more chicken and rice. It’s called haianese chicken which is essentially just boiled and served with rice, various sauces and chicken broth

•went to the hospital to have Ben’s ears flushed out as he hasn’t been able to hear for a few days now

•was hoping for more satisfying chunks to come out but at least he can now hear! £80 later too, ouch

•went for an Indian which was massively underwhelming. Cost us 700 baht and was probably one of the worst we’ve had in Asia so far :( small portions and overpriced!

•judo takedowns in the morning class were not fun. It hurts to throw and be thrown!

•older guy who helps the instructor offered for ben to try some on him so he could go a little bit harder than “he would on a girl”. Thought he was gonna break the guy’s back!

•found a really cheap haianese chicken place not too far from here. 50 baht (like £1.20) for a plate of chicken and rice with a bowl of broth. Why didn’t we find this place sooner 😢

•in the evening class I was partnered up with the instructor’s girlfriend, which is fine except she hardly speaks any English so it’s really hard to learn/communicate with her

•went to mama’s for dinner but it was closed and had to make do with a shit restaurant opposite which was more expensive and the yellow curry tasted like a curry pot noodle. Unimpressed

•bjj morning class I was put with small frenchie again. Not enjoying it as much without ben! It’s not going with other people it’s more that I can’t actually speak to her and all she says is “ok good” but I don’t even know if I’m doing it right!

•had a small breakdown (these are becoming frequent why am I such a baby) about not enjoying bjj so much when last week it was the most amazing thing ever

•haianese chicken for lunch. She remembered our exact order ☺️

•practically half a watermelon from the street side for like 40p

•bjj evening class and the frenchie didn’t show up! Yay hey ben. I enjoy bjj again now lol

•mamas for dinner for the best yellow curry on the island. You get free fruit at the end and it’s times like these I thank ben for not liking fruit

•don’t actually have much to take photos of whilst we’re here. We’re either in class, stretching, at the gym, eating or sleeping! \240

•signs in toilets are getting weirder

•bjj morning and evening class, obv

•possibly the only people to ever go to a Muay Thai camp and not do Muay Thai

•chicken and rice is everything that’s nice. And the broth, the broth is the bollocks

•not everyday you eat your lunch next to the live version of it..

•saw “electricians” working on the messy electricity cables with a bamboo ladder just propped up against them!

•went to the shop on my own and on the way back I noticed the cleaner lady from our hote waiting in the middle of the road on her ped. She started waving me over and gave me a lift back without actually ever saying a word to me. Bless her! Said to ben from the start that I wanted to get a ped taxi and I accidentally got a free one :)

•Ben’s bday!!!!!

•bjj morning class and then private lesson with Dave straight after. Got to go through exactly what we wanted which was cool

•chicken and rice for lunch, standard

•walked all the way to Makro which was about 3km away in the hope that they’d have some sports clothes, completely forgetting you need a membership card... we managed to evade the security guards though but no clothes

•only saving grace was a KFC nearby for a sundae

•evening bjj class and our warmup was “light sparring” with each other. Only had about 10 lessons I do not know how to spar. Not fun

•ben went with CrossFit dickhead who was actually trying to submit him and ended up hurting his elbow! Left class early

•best burger in Thailand!!! Spent about £23 on dinner which is the most we’ve spent in a very long time but so so worth it. Really good knowledge about what was gluten free etc too

•skipping all classes today. Way too sore and confidence knocked after last night’s lesson

•walked 4km to a shopping center which was pretty cool. They had a food court and we found some trusty haianese chicken

•there was either a pet shop or a mini zoo in the middle which was weird and sad. Cats, owls, dogs, pigs, even a fucking raccoon... wish they had bigger cages though

•seeing Xmas decorations in 30* heat and blue skies is really weird. Definitely does not feel like Xmas!

•one of the best (and most needed) Thai massages at Sky massage

•back to Hungry Wolf for some amazing burgers again. £50 in 2 days on burgers? Why not... not like we’re on a tight budget or anything? Let’s call it Ben’s extended birthday celebration

•said bye to Superpro :( going to miss the luxury of unlimited fitness. Met some cool people too - Daniel, world champion kickboxer who would always reply to “you alright?” with “me? I’m always good”; Otto, a young Dutch guy with no fighting bone in his body that Ben took under his wing; Pepe from Chile and a German guy whose name we never actually knew haha

•a very skatty day of traveling that consisted of: a minibus from our hotel to the bus station, a coach onto the ferry, met that coach after we got off the ferry to be told we had to change bus, hopped on a minibus which then took us to a travel company office thing, quick stop for lunch, a songthuaw to another bus station and finally another coach. Could’ve definitely done this whole journey never having to change bus!

•our last coach in Asia and it was the worst one yet. Had to ask to stop for a piss and the air con was shit. Never sweated so much when only sitting still

•eaten a lot of sweets today to make up for my sweets/chocolate detox whilst at the camp (I specifically declared in the small print to Ben, though, that if chocolate came wrapped around ice cream in the form of a magnum then it doesn’t count)

•arrived in Krabi and immediately found a haianese chicken place 😇

•proud of us uncultured and somewhat snobby folk from eastleigh now eating on the street-side for £1 a meal. When we get to Australia it’s going to be odd not sitting outside on plastic chairs for dinner...

•found an outlet village which was literally like downtown disney

•bought hoodies for the cooler Aus and NZ nights (never thought I’d be excited for cold)

•ben bought too many Superman clothes and then proceeded to wear them all at the same time. Am I dating a 7 year old?

•packed songthaew on the way to the village with people hanging off the back and then, on the return journey, we were those people hanging off the back!

•making the most of our last couple of days in Thailand with 2 hours of massage - 1hr Thai and 1hr foot. Ben was massaged by a man....

-a few words from ben-

Easily the most awkward experience of my life, the man pretty much massaged my bum hole. I’m talking millimeters away from actual rim contact and it was for a good minute or so. Then not only the awkward bum hole incident he continued to make contact with my penis on mulitple occasions, more than any other massage I’ve had before. Could barely look at him when we left.

•apparently penis contact is a regular occurrence for him?!?!😂😂

•last Asian gym and everything felt like it was about to snap!

•there are pavements here but we’ve been so used to walking on the roads that we’re now the weirdos that avoid the pavements...

•chicken and rice x 2, man I’m gonna miss £1 meals

•ben had a kfc instead. He’s onto the western food already

•was gonna go to railay beach but we both realised neither of us want to swim and don’t particularly like sand so went for a walk around krabi town instead

•last curry of Asia was a massaman and is up there in the top 5 of our travels 😋

•flight from krabi to Singapore

•spent 50 minutes in a queue made up only of Russians. Though it was a bit weird and then realised we were queueing to check in for a flight to Russia. Oops

•finally checked in at the right desk (which was in a different terminal entirely)

•got fined 500baht each for overstaying our visas by a day. Felt like a right criminal being taken away by immigration

•Krabi Airport is just one room with chairs and a cafe

•probably the only people to ever buy Air Asia souvenirs (purely for the purpose of completing our Visa cards)

•12 hour layover at Changi airport but we couldn’t have chosen a better airport to spend the day. Cinema, games room, so many restaurants and shops, massage chairs, gardens... pretty good

•can really appreciate just how nice Singapore is now after spending 3 months in Asia. It’s so clean!! And people are friendly! Expensive though

Reflecting on our trip in Asia:

best days - cooking lessons, elephants, Muay Thai lesson, boxing match in PP and renting bikes in Pai

fav place - Chiang Mai and Phnom Penh

least fav place - Koh Tao and Da Lat!

fav country - Cambodia

least fav country - Vietnam

best food - yellow or massaman curry of course

•2.30am flight and planned to sleep straight away but man Indonesia was bumpy as hell! Got about 2 hours in total

•apparently we chose the worst day to fly. Very very bumpy landing, think the seatbelt sign was on for the majority of the flight, due to sydney having shit loads of rain and storms

•meant to meet Wendy at the airport for Ben’s license but she got the wrong day 🤦🏻‍♀️

•got the camper and drove to their house to collect it. First time driving a van AND driving abroad and I drove through Sydney in rush hour. Pretty proud of myself (and I didn’t shout at ben once!)

•maccers do all day breakfasts. Starting my emigration forms now..

•apparently all camp sites are fully booked/closed and it’s illegal to camp just anywhere. Emergency hotel booking as we are in desperate need of a shower and some decent sleep!

•BAKED BEANS! I didn’t realise how happy a bowl of baked bloody beans would make me

•slept like a log. Could’ve slept for hours more!

•met Adam at the camper rental place as we went back to sort out the stereo and fridge which wouldn’t work... apparently there’s a switch for both that we hadn’t turned on 🤦🏻‍♀️

•drove down to woolongong for lunch

•arrived in Bateman’s bay at our campsite for the evening. Lovely area! Camp owner’s reply to us coming down from Sydney was “oh bugger Sydney”

•went to Coles and stocked up on food and crap for the van. Then went into aldi which is like half the price. Oops

•alcohol is so expensive here!!! $16 for a 10 pack of ciders. I wish ben liked wine, it’s so cheap

•aussies are such friendly people. Old couple camping next door came over for a chat and everybody says hi to you

•3 months in Asia with only being bitten on the legs and the first full day in oz I get bitten on the face

•didn’t sleep very well - pranging about bugs eating me and it was so hot in the camper. Missing air con but at least it’s a lot cooler at night here

•set off to a place Adam has booked with no showers, toilets or WiFi (cheers bloke). Driving about 70 and we realise the side door is open, I try to close it but the handle comes clean off and so I’m holding on to this door whilst hurtling down country roads looking for somewhere to stop 😂

•Australian countryside is beautiful! This country is a hybrid of UK/USA I swear but so much prettier

•stopped in a little town called bermagui which was stunning. Had lunch literally on the other edge of the world. Best view for lunch ever

•drove down the bumpiest dirt track for 4km to a campsite Adam picked out. Right on the beach but no showers or toilets, just a hole in the ground covered in bugs. Ben and I weren’t feeling it so we moved on to Eden, another beautiful town on the coast

•why do people ever move away from Australia??? I don’t think I can ever get bored of these views!

•cooked dinner in the camp kitchen (“typical poms eh cooking chips”) and got talking to a couple who live on the campsite. Talking about all the dangerous wildlife out here

•they knew a bloke who got swallowed whole by a great white and spat back out. He’s a local celebrity apparently 😂

•it’s so funny watching Adam trying to keep up with brit and Aussie conversation. He hasn’t got a clue what we’re saying when we talk fast! And he still thinks aussies and brits sound the same bless him

•set off for lakes entrance and visited the Eden lookout spot on the way out. No whales today :(

•it’s nice to actually be able to play with dogs now, knowing that they have owners and are most likely rabies free

•stopped in mallacoota for lunch (which was a 15 min windy detour from the main highway, sorry ben). I don’t think we’ll ever get better lunch views than those this side of the world

•how to tell strangers your name without actually speaking: get a photo outside somewhere named after you

•apparently missing curries already (I’m shocked too) so treated Adam to the delight of yellow corrryyy

•nice to have a lie in and not have to move on early but it’s pissing it down and so windy. Australia man wtf?

•managed to cheat the McDonald’s system. $3.50 for a plain sundae or 80c for an ice cream cone served in a cup. Boom

•the stone fruit here is absolutely amazing. I’ve never had such juicy peaches, plums and nectarines!!

•played mini golf and came last, naturally

•crossed the footbridge over to the 90 mile beach that ends here in lakes entrance. So windy I thought I was going to get blown straight into the water 😂

•never seen such an angry but beautiful ocean! Crazy waves

•had some bonza kangaroo steaks. Are we Aussie yet?

•attempted to teach Adam shithead. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks

•stopped at lakes entrance lookout on the way out where apparently there have been dolphin sightings but none today. You ever seen ocean so blue though??

•6 hour drive to torquay through Melbourne and to the b100, the great ocean road!

•went over the west gate bridge on its 40th birthday :)

•in Melbourne centre you cant just drive onto the motorway, you have to queue and every time the green light shows 2 cars can enter. Clever or annoying?

•new camp is huge! And right on “surfers beach” which is packed with surfers right up until sunset