I feel as if I am driving down the middle of an eight lane interstate.
It's daylight, it's beautiful.
The sun is out and I can feel the wind whipping through my hair.
I am happy. I am free.
She is sitting beside me, telling me how much she loves me.
I am standing in the middle of the eight lane interstate now.
It is dark, but it is far from quiet.
The engine motors are roaring, the squeals of the tires are tearing through my ear.
I cover my ears, why am I here?
Thousands of cars pass beside me, literally inches away.
The breeze off the close cars are enough to make me sway.
But I can't move.
They're coming at me from both ways now, whipping past me inches apart.
My mind is racing...I can hear my palpitating heart. The noise of my unanswered cries are only just the start.
The noise of all my inner demons wanting to be heard...I close my eyes, I cover my ears....
This is no help.
These thoughts, these sounds, these feelings are inevitable - they all belong to me.
lights are all I see.
Coming from every which way, but all headed towards me.
I cower down now, I wrap myself in a ball...
But depression is here for me, she's got me when I fall.
Her arms wrap around me, when there's really nobody around..
I stand on my own two feet, and look to see who's around.
There she is, beautiful and young, she looks about like me, when I used to have fun.
Her eyes show wonder and her smile shows a spark, but little did I know she had her secrets in the dark.
"Why did they hurt you?" She takes her hand in mine as I stumbled over the words,
"don't worry....I'm fine."
"Chelsea, you're not okay, you need some help. Your wounds are bleeding out now, you need to reach for help."
These thoughts that drain me.
These thoughts that cured me.
These thoughts that thought everything,
And made me obscure me.
How will I go on?
Who will I be?
Without her here and next to me?
Depression has become a friend.
One who looks out when no one looks in.