‘Ok this is looking good’, I thought. I’d take rice, sambal, curry chicken and fried egg over toast and cereal any day. Yeo’s chrysanthemum tea was a nice touch. Apple - as expected was not eaten straightaway and kept in fridge as emergency food.

After gobbling down everything minus said apple, I fell into a deep sleep, only to be woken up a mere 2 hours later by another ding signalling lunch delivery:

Day 1: Lunch

With no microwaving facilities, all meals came with a food safety warning to consume immediately. I wondered how the heck I was supposed to eat all this after the feast just 2 hours ago, before wolfing down the veges and some chicken. Drink and banana bread were added to emergency food stash in fridge.

More sleep later, I was woken up around 5pm local time by my kids calling to FaceTime. They were craving fried rice for dinner after seeing photos of my breakfast. So I ordered fried rice to be delivered to them for dinner from my phone. Technology is wonderful.

Feeling rather guilty about eating and sleeping all day, I quickly did a 10 min YouTube exercise and finished just in time for this:

Day 1: Dinner

Omg, eggplant, sweet and sour fish, heaven. Thumbs down to blackcurrant drink and honeydew.

Not exactly toast and cereal, but… where’s the rice?? Two more apples to add to my emergency food stash. But they say three’s a crowd, so I decided to eat the apple from yesterday. Just in case you needed a photo of a half eaten apple:

By the way, I’m not sure why Canadian whole soybeans should be a selling point:

After a bit of painting and pottering around, lunch was served. Things were looking up at this point in time.

Day 2: Lunch

After this morning’s disappointment, lunch deserved a close up pic.

If I were to nitpick, the caterers need to up their fried shallot game - just get a few more on top of that rice pleez.

The afternoon was spent on more painting, and some exercise in anticipation of what’s to come for dinner. Alas…

Day 2: Dinner

Just in case you can’t tell, it’s supposed to be an Italian meal. I realised when hotel Q does non-Asian meal, me gets upset 😔

At least Yeo’s air tebu (sugar cane drink) made a welcome appearance.

Yeo’s winter melon tea - I patiently await your arrival in my next meal.

Some major ticks here:

☑️ curry fish balls *YUM*

☑️ upped their fried shallot game big time

Day 3: Lunch

Getting a bit sick of curry chicken. Still playing scrooge with the fried shallots…

Enter a new Yeo’s family member - lychee drink. Winter melon tea remains elusive.

Day 3: Dinner

A welcome break from curry chicken. The familiar smell of ginger and soy sauce provided much comfort.

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

What the heck is this supposed to be?????

I need to be strong. Things will get better. I could afford to skip this meal, save up the calories for the next. I must, stay strong…

*The writer proceeded to reach for an apple from her emergency food stash*

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Day 4: Lunch

The trauma of this morning was quickly forgotten at the sight of fish and okra (even though there was only one okra) and leafy Asian greens.

I reminded myself to be extra careful navigating through them nasty fish bones. ‘Wouldn’t want to be caught choking on a fish bone whilst in hotel quarantine’ I thought.

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Day 4: Dinner

Notice something wrong about this meal?

Do you see it?

Have a good think about the 5 main food groups.

Do you see it yet?

If not, allow me to explain in this short video clip:

Not a good diet if you want to achieve a thigh gap.

Day 5: Lunch

I don’t really have much to say about lunch, except that I’m now more than ready to stop eating hotel quarantine food, and have that bubble tea.

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At 6:30pm, I heard a familiar knock on the door, and begrudgingly opened it to collect my meal.

Day 5: Dinner

*chef HQ was in the mood for curry tonite*

*chef HQ also took on board advice to up the fried shallot game, then got a tad too excited and started throwing in random bits of corn kernels*

But tonite, I got a surprise package in addition to dinner. My guardian angel Stacey Chan had been listening in to my bubble tea chants and decided to grant me my wish. The sight of bubble tea made me squeal. Hugs and kisses to my guardian angel ❤️

You can probably tell from the lack of an introduction that eating hotel quarantine meals is starting to become a chore. What can I say; plain toast is better than weird stuff masquerading as sandwiches. At least chef HQ knows good butter.

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Day 6: Lunch (urgh)

Pop quiz time:

What’s in this container?

A. Sauce

B. Soup

C. Something in between

D. Don’t know cos I didn’t eat it

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Day 6: Dinner

This is what I’m having on New Year’s Eve and I feel like I wanna cry 😭😭😭

Lots of veges - very good. For the purposes of getting (feeling) more in shape prior to my impending release from hotel quarantine, I gladly welcome more fibre into my belly.

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Day 7: the last supper

I’m sure this would have tasted much better if it was served warm. I really should give chef HQ more credit - it’s not chef HQ’s fault that meals are not delivered steaming hot. My hopes of meeting Yeo’s winter melon tea are officially dashed.

I wonder if I’ll get breakfast prior to being released tomorrow…

I really didn’t expect to be served breakfast before being released from hotel quarantine, so thank you and goodbye chef HQ - I won’t be in a hurry to eat your meals again. Oh wait no - never say never, don’t jinx yourself - I take that back!!!

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Day 8: lunch at KLIA

I had been craving a piping hot bowl of porridge so that’s what I got myself at the airport before boarding my flight to Kota Kinabalu. When this was served at the table, I realised that I had once again jinxed myself - I really shouldn’t have been so harsh on chef HQ about being stingy with them fried shallots. But in all seriousness, chicken porridge without any fried shallots or spring onions on top is a serious crime, more so than the ridiculous price tag.

Feeling totally ripped off, I proceeded to the airport lounge in an attempt to redeem my KLIA food experience. But as you can probably tell from the photo below, it turned out to be a totally disappointing experience. Only the watermelon slices were worth putting on my plate.

By now I had become completely jaded about eating. Even my business class airline meal started to resemble something from chef HQ’s kitchen:

At least I get served apple juice in a fancy glass.

*THE END*