Yo Ballers! Thought I'd start a diary of shit that goes down in Germany and the EU mainly for us to remember, because if you know me I forget more than I remember, but if anyone else wants to read, comment, ridicule etc .. then so be it.

Flight was pretty brutal in my opinion, but from what others say it wasn't too bad.. glad to have spent the extra coupla bucks for the bigger plane, it's just all that Fucking sitting in the one spot!! Kinda torture!! With free booze!! Sounds horrible right??

traveling tip # 1 sitting on the toilet can be a welcome break from sitting in your seat, use the time wisely, take a nice book and enjoy the different position!!

But yeah all in all not bad, quick stopover in Singapore (rad airport with rooftop bar) Not so quick stopover in Dubai (huge airport with great bloody Mary's - sidenote one can drink in Dubai but cannot be drunk, drunk is illegal) we also won't mention who mistook a prayer room in Dubai airport for a bathroom though.... yep you heard it right, that happened, how?? Ahhh you tell me?? seriously dodged a bullet there!! (Sincere apologies to anyone offended here, there was no intention, complete mistake)

Arrived at Frankfurt, gear, check, luggage, check, Epic touring team waiting with banner, check!! Boom we're in!!

Quick 1hour drive (and I mean Fucking fast) to our new home away from home in the beautiful countryside of Sinntal, which apparently translates to sin valley - I think we can relate to that, a coupla beers, some cheese and sausage,, , a few bourbons, hazelnut schnapps need I say more?? Could not have slept better!!

Woke up a little hazy, who needs jetlag? Smash it out with hangover! Haha - today was a good day apparently a public holiday (all saints day) we started off with a jam, working out what gear we're gonna use, think I'm gonna run with a Hughes and Kettner 50watt for the most of the tour, Razors running a peavey 750w and cian looks like he's gonna run a gretsch, good to blow out the cobwebs though, band feels tight already!! Thanks to epic for sorting the gear - radlords!

Steve from epic touring took us into a town called Fulda checked out the local music store, coulda spent all day in there, then off to a brahuas for more beer and schnitzel, delicious!! I actually ordered the pork knuckle! That shit will be my undoing here, I can't get enough..

so much history everywhere, people are great, it's a little cold but nothin a few beer blankets can't fix, and luckily that shits everywhere! Tomorrow we're goin to Tolman (spel check) to check out the music store, apparently it's a doozy!!

Scratch ya later!!


Church in Fulda

Yo ballers!

Well another bloody good day!

Walked out the front of the house around 9am to be confronted with this

Evil as Fuck right?

So yeah we totally understand black metal now and have started working on a new project called Pariah Carey.. black metal versions of Maz classics! So stay tuned!!

After working through a few tunes we decided to take a road trip to Thomann ,

Apparently it's a big music shop


this is some shit video i took.. hey I was overwhelmed

Honestly this place was epic, I've never seen anything like it and holy shit I mean they have a wall of piano accordions and there's a room dedicated to double basses, and another to \240xylophones ,drums -fuck I could goin on forever.. that said I'm told the shop in cologne is bigger???

Then we were off to bamberg for food and beer, Keller beer (spell check) bloody sensational and more pork and potatoes and onion rings and fried egg and mustard and.. we'll let's just say I love bamberg

Extremely pumped for the show tomorrow - let's destroy!!

Oh we had to cancel a show at cafe de meister due to some issues at the venue, we wish the meister all the best and hope they can continue to rock the fuck out of Geleen .. On the other hand Renata from Epic waved her magic wand and presto we now have a new show at a venue called DeReunie ..apparently this venue is kick ass .. so well done Ren you bloody legend and thanks to De Reunie for helping us out!

Rock on fuckers


Lange G. 5C, 99310 Arnstadt, Germany

Goid morning Ballers

That was definitely one of the stranger day/nights I think I've ever had, mainly due to communication breakdown, something I've always been on the other side of, but being surrounded by non English speaking Germans is not only strange it's fucking hilarious!! Up til this point most of the Germans we have spoken to have had some pretty good English skills then we arrive in Arnstadt!!! Haha The game of charades that ensues brings much laughter from both parties usually to be ended unsuccessfully with a mutual shrug of the shoulders and a raise of the beer ??? PROST!!!

We drive approx 200ks in about 1,5 hours which is just enough time for Steve to tell us a few road stories, the dude has seriously been on the road for more of his life than not, and he still loves it!!

Arrived around lunchtime, unpacked the van and met Udo the owner/booker/all time hero/maniac, who immediately hands us beers and tells us how excited he is for tonight's show and how much he loves Aussie rock bands the walls are covered with tour posters and we quickly spot some we know ( dirty York, dead city ruins), this place has been rocking for 26 years with UDO and his dog Buck at the helm .. what a fucking rock pig

Streve and Ren hit the road and leave us at the venue (our hotel) and Udo shows us some tunes that he loves mainly a band from Argentina (42 decibels)who fucking rock, anyway udo tells us he needs to sleep as last night was a big one (it's currently 2pm) and we head into town for some grub.

Most of my sentences now start with

"Hallo - do you speak English??"

Which is usually met with

"Ah yes how can I help??"

Not today, Noooooo Now to order from the menu , coffee- easy done, I spot mushrooms and butter I think, I spot pomme frites, yes!! Winning!! I can do this!! Come on, schweinescnitzel yes I think I've got it!!

"I'll have a snitty with buttery mushies and chips please!!! POW!!"

Cian and Raze have different versions of the same thing it's honestly the only things we could recognize but they were fucking awesome, success!

We get back after a bit and Udo has come to life whipping up a storm in the kitchen, as we're setting up he keeps trying to make us eat more, we concede and have a bowl of the best pea and ham soup I've had in ages, he asks us if we can play blues, I say kinda but not really he shrugs and moves on.. hmmm suspicious

We settle in to the bar and proceed to watch the punters turn up, and they do, in no time at all we're sitting in a smoke filled bar with loud banter exchanging stories with locals about snakes and sharks and German efficiency and the price of smokes in Australia - badly - but enjoying it all the same,

The band we're playin with is johnny maestro a new orleans hard rockin blues harp band.. they fucking slay but I now realize why Udo wants us to play blues cos we are gonna destroy this crowd, we go on around 12am and most people are fucking hammered so I'm not too concerned but it could go either way, we decide to start off hard with 4th of July and kick em in the guts, fuck it why not, that'll sort out the pussies and the others can rock the hell out with us, a few songs in we've definitely got their attention, stumbled through the set a little sloppy but we pullled it off, still getting used to the gear, a few people leave but we expected that, this was a blues crowd of 50-60 somethIngs but fuck me they went hard!! We close with ace of spades and the remaining crowd is slurring "Lemmy for Life" at us!! A 50plus woman that I talked to earlier comes up to me and says

"You told me was to be loud, you right, but was fucking super"

We fist bumped!

Germans fucking rock!

Here's some johnny maestro


Steinweg 63, 99974 Mühlhausen/Thüringen, Germany

Yo Ballers!! Well shit, what can I say .. Udo totally mindfucked us! After a sensational night in arnstadt our host Udo woke us up with breaky beers and coffee and stories of better times, so much of what is german is also steeped in so much history and tragedy I can't even really begin to relate..

Udo took us on a walk to suicide rock, I wasn't sure we were gonna return but we survived, if only just a little bit wobbly.. Germany has some really beautiful countryside.. coupled with the calming ratatattat of maching gun fire in the distance, castles on the mountain tops and eagles circling overhead, it really was loovly (as Udo would say in his mock British accent) hang on machine gun fire??? WHAT THE FUCK??? Apparently there's an army testing ground over the hills... oh, that's ok then! I guess?

We spend the day talking shit with old mate, he cooks us up some pork and mash with sauerkraut and finally, and I mean finally around 2pm we stop dead in our tracks and falls asleep! I sleep the sleep of a thousand sleep. goddamn you Udo I mean the guy is 68 years old and I swear I've never seen anyone go harder!!

View from suicude rock (doesn't do it justice)

We jump in the van and make the short trek to muhlhausen it's only about an hour or so away.. thanks to Renata for driving from sintaal to get us, which is an extra hour or so on top of that.. legend finished at 4:30 the previous morning herself .

We arrive at the hotel shit,shower,shave and then off to the show.. pretty rad little venue, seems it's a rehearsal studio with a venue attached, I know this scene, except this ones built out of stone, which concerns me at first but that soon proves to be no problem ..

Enno is the other band on the bill, they are pretty fucking good and it's their place I wish I'd taken some video, cos I can't really describe their music but if we had to take a stab razor and I both agree it'd be alt German punk, fast and sharp! Good work lads, loved it!!

We played pretty bloody good tonight, the crowd was really tight and really into it, can't help but play well in those situations and we can't thank Enno enough for having us on!

I'm currently laying in my fancy hotel room thinking of breakfast!!

Next stop Berlin and a couple of days off!!


Muhlhausen by night

Fancy German sunset

Buck!! Udos best mate


Yo Ballers!!!

pretty bland day yesterday, spent the most of it traveling - started the day off with breakfast in the hotel, which was your standard buffet style, eggs bacon, sausages, cured meats, coffee, juice, I'm feeling human again, took advantage of the late check out and headed off for Berlin.. we have a couple of days off now so gonna try and see how much trouble we can get in, in Berlin ..

Train was pretty bloody pricey, there's different levels of ticket and each comes with less fucking about, less stops, no changeovers, we couldn't buy a ticket for the cheap train as they were all sold out all day so we had to go to the next level, about 60euro each.. wowsers!

Travel Tip #2 buy your Fucking tickets in advance, everyone told us too, now we're telling you !!

That said it was a good train most of them have cafes etc on board but they can get busy and it's a scramble for a seat or a 2 hour standing in the way type journey.

One thing I did notice was the ticket inspectors have machines to "buy" tickets from??? buy a ticket on the train?? How foreign?! I'm used to ticket inspectors only handing out fines..I'm pointing at you melbourne pt!!

They move pretty quick

Arrived at Berlin after one changeover - it's a big train station- it's actually huge..

Then grab a cab with this guy

Get into our new digs at the Berlin surf hostel, yep that's what I said two rooms in Neukolln which is apparently the fastest growing cooltown in Berlin google maps is quite often wrong as it hasn't caught up yet!!

Grab ourselves a burger

Food coma

There's a great littlebar at the end of our street I can see that being a starting point for the next couple of days

Let's see what berlin brings today



Muhlhausen kicked Cians arse, mine too

Haha surf hostel in Berlin.. might get up for an early !!!

Mainzer Str. 19-20, 12053 Berlin, Germany

Hmmmm I think there's a lesson here, something about idle hands, today's hangover is all too familiar, we need more shows.. l might regret saying that..let's see what I can recall.

Woke pretty early

Drank coffee

Ate pastry

Walked to the templehof field which is an old military airport, closed in 2008..Mainly used for jogging and bike riding now, I'd guess they'd have big events there, markets and shit, probably the odd festival, possibly a caravan expo or a fishing boat display?

There's a community garden.. I like community gardens..

Cool huh?! They grew plants in things that don't usually have plants in them

Walked more

Drank beer

Looked at things

Went to the Ramones museum

Didn't buy a ramones shirt.. there's too many of those in the world

Went to a Turkish grill and ate some lamb, damn that shit was good.. I love lamb! Pretty much just a kebab with lamb, tomato and green stuff.. best! Clean!

You know it's gonna be good when there's statues of the animals they cook right?

quick stroll through the park, which also seems to be the place for gang bangers to try to make friends with us.. they seemed lovely and I think they wanted to sell me something?

Saw a dude in a wheelchair smoking something with a pipe off a bit of foil, lucky for him he's already sitting down.

Lots of people playing bocci? Is that how's it's spelt

Went home and chilled for a bit..

It wasn't long before I felt that all to familiar urge to go to a bar and get shitfaced, lucky for us there's a good one 5 doors from our pad! Caught up with Hannah a friend from melbs who lives here now! She's a good egg and is killing it in this rad city! I think she's gonna take us on a bike ride today. That could be interesting .. we darank and drank and I think I spent about 30 euros in total.. shots, \240everything, I tried to spend more but they wouldn't have it!!

The rest is a blur

Oh I ate samosas

catch ya


This guy walks around selling samosas to the punters.. much like those chicks that used to sell roses in night clubs but much tastier! Hang on a minute that is the rose guy, I forgot about him, I hope I didn't eat one of those!?

Total radlords!! Hannah is a champ! I've got that look in my eye! things probably broke after this!!

My greatest fan... I'm probably the only person in the world that would come to Berlin, in winter.. and rock a fan ...

So looooovely....we miss Udo

Mainzer Str. 43, 12053 Berlin, Germany

Ok so I'm gonna try this drunk.. today was a good day started a little late after last nights shenanigans but hey we still got involved!

Things we remembered from last night that we forgot.. ..(.most confusing sentence ever..) ahh not much, except for why use 000 as the emergency number in Australia, if you think About it, on the old phones, it takes the longest time to dial.. lucky it's not an emergency huh?!

got our shit together and headed for breakfast eggs bacon salad yum

Looks green right?? That's eggs in the wild!!

I need a drink

Someone camouflage my Bloody Mary..

short stroll to Berlin, lost cian and Raze in an Internet cafe.. almost called Liam Neeson, but you wanna save that card right.. I mean he will find them!!

Nice scenery shot

Ended up at checkpoint Charlie in Berlin, pretty much the entry/exit point for the Berlin Wall from east to west.. crazy shit, overnight the country was divided .. people separated from their family/work/home with no warning.. brutal !!!

The wall was 3-4 meters high and 66 miles long.. a rediculous amount of barbed wire was involved.. apparently they put flowers along it to disguise the repressivness .. lovely

I'm not sure about this guy

I went to maccas and used the dunny, it cost me 50cents.. but damn that place was clean, had a little chat to the dunny lady, and then she let me use the ladies cos the guy in the men's was taking too long!! I think this system works well!!! Thanks dunny person!!

Caught the train back home (I think we finally worked out the train system) and caught up with Coz from riff fist he's playing in mammoth mammoth at the moment and headed out n tour today... great guy and his mate Stef .. showed us their rehearsal room and gave us beer.. hope to return the favour one day.. give em hell coz!! See ya in summer Stef

Checkpoint Charlie

Went out and grabbed some pizza, second best margarita I've had.. (I miss you popalare) chased it with lasagne! Mind you it was penne so I guess it was penne napoli with bechamel ... fucked if I know, \240but lasagna is a stretch .. anyway after I ate it all...

Cian found his new favourite shop

Had a kip

Then caught up with Hanna and her mates Simon and Shane? Shit was it Shane? I hope so.. bugger can make cheese in 45 minutes and won't tell me how..

popped into a couple of bars, fuck smoking bars are pretty brutal for the breathing. How did we used to do it? Cool place called syndikat, little punk bar ..

too many beers

Doing this with one eye

Back to Frankfurt tomorrow.. old mate harri from airborne hooked us up with free tix to his show, so next stop frankers... thanks Harri

Thanks Berlin


See what I did there?!

Not sure what to think here..


Röntgenstraße 5A, 60388 Frankfurt am Main, Germany

Oh hi there!

Yesterday was a a bit of a dud

Left Berlin via bus to Frankfurt, MISTAAASAKE!!!

Got stuck in autobahn traffic, which turned a 5 hour journey into an 8 hour journey, ah well it was heaps cheaper!

Razor made a friend

Cruised through some beautiful country

I caught up on many episodes of the dollop podcast.. that shit is funny! If you haven't heard it, get on it!! Thanks for the tip Linz!

Got into Frankfurt and dropped off the gear and hightailed it down the street to the batschkapp for Airborne!! Fuck these Aussie lads are fucking killing it, great crowd, great show, great lesson in rocknroll, thanks for the hookup Harri

Spewin we missed desecrator !! All reports say they killed it too..

Gonna take advantage of the late check out

Pick up the van today, netherlands show tomorrow! Time to get busy

Let's do this


L3196, 97791 Gutsbezirk Spessart, Germany

Guten Morgen Ballers

Writing this one from the van, the one we'll be spending the majority of the next coupla weeks in..

A dis a one

Spent the day in Frankfurt yesterday, cruised about like a little family checkin out the sights, it was delightful!!

Cian and Razor declared their love for each other on frankfurts love lock bridge..

I got hit on by a very squeaky statue

Found a big fucking church that was originally built around the 1300's, gothic as mate!!

Big doors with little keys

Popped into a little creperie for a coffee and a crepe, oh I better have another one.. ok yes I'll try the Nutella crepes too.. damn, that shit is like crack right?!

Fucked around on the Trains a bit to go pick up the van and meet our driver Rod, who we immediately recognize as a legend, he takes us to a little pub just down the road from Sinntal a( he's playing there himself in a week or so) and we all have a feed and a few beers and plan the next few days!!

On our way to the Netherlands today this is the show that got moved, with black Burned Blimp.. De Reunie is the venue apparently it's snowing up there. Bring that shit on!!

Check it, it's all a part of making rekkids!!



Frankfurt town center

Langs de Houdstraat, 6121 Born, Netherlands

Goedemorgan Klootsacks!!

Chooglin on down the road, creedence pumpin, headed to Hamburg after a sensational night in geleen in the Netherlands with another great bunch of people..

stopped off along the way in Köln to take a look at another music superstore, I honestly can't get my head around the amount of stock these guys carry, and a lot of it is high end, spotted a 14000 euro 59 ace frehley Les Paul .. just sayin, and that's just one of sooo many.

Grabbed a stool in the taylor acoustic room picked up a little blonde cutaway worth around 6000 euro and just played, it sounded so good I couldn't believe I was playing it.. beautiful !! Got lost in a tune that came out on the spot, wish I remembered it, ah well I guess that one was just meant for me and the guitar, until we meet again?!

Arrived in Geleen to a warm welcome from Sarah who with the help of Theo the owner managed to snag this show at very late notice.. thanks guys not only that, they put us up for the night, fed us delicious meatballs and veges and let us play through their kick arse PA system, operated by Rauri the maestro!!

Pretty thin crowd due to the lack of time to promote but that didn't stop Black Burned Blimp from kicking arse

We found another Carl from AKF..

Our turn, felt good, real good, such a pleasure having foldback, dragged a few in from the front barwhich is a good sign, made some new fans! Mission accomplished

Sat in the front bar and exchanged stories with a few locals, pretty rad bar.

I have dubbed holland the land of the tiny drink! Tiny little beers, Rod thought it was just a taster, you know to sample the beer before you buy the real one.. nope that's it!! Wake up in the morning, tiny little coffees!! HAHAHAHA I love it!! Better have 3

Don't be fooled, that cup is tiny

Theo surprised us with Dynamite!!

Cute pad!

Raze and Rod chillin before the show, or is razor showin Rod his wang, by the look on rods face I think he might be

Currently blasting down the E34 towards wankum!! Which looks like this

What a bloody wankum!!!

Seeyas in Hamburg!!!



Fuck you Hamburg you filthy beast!

What a cracking night!!

Played the kaiserkeller right in the guts of Hamburg, killer gig, killer crowd, killer bands! The Hydden smashed it !! Two piece brutality!!

Not really much to say.. got my wallet pickpocketed.. that's fun, I hope someone tries to be me.. Hamburg is a city much like any other city, (paul Kelly nailed it) it has red light districts and KFC and crazy bargain hot dollar and dodgy characters standing on corners, and I'm sure it's got nice parts, .. it's just that I didn't see that.. I'm starting to see the underside of touring.. it quickly becomes a blur of hotel rooms and sound checks, fruit platters and cold meats, not that I'm complaining .. just saying

Went to KFC at some time in the morning and a couple of hookers tried to coax us into their den, the method of enticement - grab us on the cock!! Classy !! Actually I bet that's when my shit got nicked, distract me with a cock grab and steal my wallet at the same time!! Bloody gypsy hookers!

Stayed in a hostel attached to a bar called kogge pretty cool spot, thanks to Mario for hooking that up.. and for hooking us up the show, food, beers, carpark and party!! Good times, oh apparently jagermeister is still a thing?

I'm hungry ... I'd give all the contents of my wallet for a decent steak dinner right now

Currently doing 162 km/h and it's still not bloody fast enough..

check this out, if you can see.. we are doing 152..

To be honest, that's not even a good example.. I can't catch a good video of the really fast ones,they just too fast.. my hand to video skills aren't what the used to be!!! Maybe next time I will hire someone to do that stuff as well as look after my wallet and make sure I find a shower somewhere.. and cook me steak.

That's the hydden

That's Endgultig

That's us out the front of the Kaiserkeller

That's Cian being a cian

Next stop Austria

Oh yeah, I said that it was snowing in holland, I was wrong, it's snowing in Austria.. I'm gonna throw a snowball at myself..



Ps just had a phone call from a German!

Someone found my wallet and somehow my phone number - bloody German efficiency!!



Yo Ballers


Funny how even after only two weeks just writing that makes me feel slightly less homesick, actually haven't had much of a chance to get homesick but the fact that we are all so connected via the net I think makes it more difficult, seeing all you lot basking about by the pools, drinking cocktails and carrying on etc... not that I'm complaining.... just sayin!!

I remember running into a dude in mulhausen who says to me..


I nearly fell off me feet... so good to have a good yarn and be understood without having to slow down..


The drive back from Hamburg was a tough one, pretty hungover, Hamburg kicked our arse,I had a bad case of "the fear" mainly due to losing my wallet, and knowing if I feel like this then I definitely destroyed a few souls!! Hopefully I didn't go full ruin!? Haha

Stopped off here for la piss!!

Here lies old mate, he was either not born or didn't die as there was only one date on it!

Here lies someone who isn't dead yet? ...

That doesn't work, I don't know what the fuck that is?

This person died in 1954?? We don't know how old they were, but they're dead now so piss off!!

Then guess what happened???

It started to Fucking snow, first time for me and I was wide eyed and Fucking amazed!! Apparently in Austria it's snowing full on , over a meter so far!!! Can't wait ..

Got home to a warm house, some home cooked meals (thanks Renate) much needed sustenance.. and a warm bed, I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

that's about all I got, current tunes -tom petty

See yas in the snow!!


Dorfstraße 29, 6450 Sölden, Austria

Holy shit.. what a day.. snow everywhere, I threw it, ate it, pissed in it, laid in it, put it on my head, put it in my drink.. I'm yet to build a snowman, \240I don't have any coal? Where the hell does one get pieces of coal anyway!!??

Drove through the mountains of Austria/ so epic, so picturesque

Stopped off at a brewery so steve could wheel and deal some beer for his bar

Dude could sell ice to eskimos!! I really need to learn multiple languages!!

Long room in the brewery!! Viking' d off our heads!!

Got to the bar in solden,live bar, it's a tiny joint in the mountains of Austria and its fucking cool.. tight! Warm, and made of wood!!

Placed filled up quickly- apparently there's an expo in town for snow freaks, they all get free beer tickets in a pub of choice.. tonight it's live bar!! Holy shit the place is chockers!!

Chris and Andreas (the owners) feed us up on some good Austrian food, and we're set!!

Steve and Renate do a set of covers ranging from johnny cash to Janis Joplin to AC/DC, it's an eye opener I mean they're doing it acoustic and workin the crowd hard, Ren does a better Bon scott than Brian Johnson! The Vagrants warm the crowd up for us and then it's time to destroy!

Honestly I felt a little sorry for some of this crowd, I mean I was basically on top of the front row, I coulda touched em with my face!! It was so hot, spit and sweat everywhere!! Lovely huh?? That one you get for free!!!

Made a few friends, the usual "I'm from a record label" types that promise the world through grinding teeth and dilated pupils!! Actually that's a bit unfair, he was \240a top guy and who knows maybe he was legit.. ??reckons he can get us into Denmark maybe? Fingers crossed!! And then the not so usual types like Colin a British ex pat from Yorkshire who I swear has lived a hundred lives, we sat and smoked and drank and Colin told us stories about the stones and Hendrix and girls and Christ I coulda listened all night!!!

Everyone is here for a good time, definitely not here to fuck spiders, the beers flow constantly and the shots are continuos, so why not play a game of who can hit the nail into a piece of wood with the wrong end of a hammer!!

The timber is right in the center of the bar!! And the game was going the whole time, even while we were playing and people were moshing and carrying on.. safety first huh?!!

People start drifting off into the icy night and we're left to ourselves in a stocked bar with a drunk bartender and a thirsty couple of bands, the venues really look after you here, I've paid for 2 drinks since I've been here!!! They paid for our accom across the street, a 2 bedroom apartment with all the mod cons... I mean I love oz but seriously Europe gives bands the treatment !! Much appreciated!!

Currently laying in bed wondering if I should get up and smell the coffee... ah fuck it, I'll smell it from here!!! Bliss

Chris and Beni - the Barmen

Frank Zappa shredding on the shitter

Gonna get it tattooed he says

Us and Col!!

See yas in Ulm


Yo Ballers

Well I didn't think the Mountains could get more mountainier but they bloody did. I wake up and go for a stroll through Solden, little ski town, in a week or 2 this place will be heaving with tourists, the air is so fresh I reckon it's a hangover cure, but maybe I'm just buszzing!

That shit is cold! Standing on our balcony

View from our balcony!

I recon that might be cold too

We leave Solden heading towards st Anton where we gonna leave Steve for a coupla days, they gotta prepare for the snow season at the Keller Bar which is about to start!! It's in the basement of a hotel which looks like a rad place to stay..

View out the window of St Anton, tough gig

We then head off agin to Ulm, but this time instead of going through the 15km tunnel that runs through the mountains (hats off to whoever built that by the way) we're gonna go "over the top"!!! Incredible drive winding over the icy mountains, this is some of the roads used in a couple of the bond movies, I recognize parts of it and Cian mentions that he's seen this in video games, I reckon he's right, maybe gran turismo?? Something like that, either way it's so cool..

Don't get much snowier than this right?

Icy roads!

We make it to Ulml and a thick fog has set in, I reckon it's colder here than in the snow the cold air seems to cut through, lug the gear into the venue (down 3 flights of stairs - ouch) set up, meet the other band who's doing 4 shows with us, mutterbeast!!! They're cool guys!! Cody the singer is a cheeky bugger, i reackon we'll get along just fine!!

We meet up Rod and Nadine (who are graciously putting us up fir the next 2 nights, and decide to sample German \240Mexican food, which is good cos I'm starved!! All in all pretty good Tucker! I got the Plato enchilada!!

Renate and El Rod

Mutterbeast are really fucking good, huge jams and stoner grooves!! Really fuckin cool!

No doubt I'll get some more video of these guys!!!

We do our thing, crowd seems to like it!!

My voice is starting to get a bit rough!

This could get interesting, ah well, whatever - no one knows what's it's supposed to sound like anyway

That'll do me

peace out



Another day, another city, another blurry morning, gotta make this quick as we're a guest tonight and I can smell breakfast happening.. oh shit I just got delivered coffee in bed!!

Drove from ulm to singen via the hohentwiel castle built in 915 - it's partly ruined and partly epic! The place survived 8 raids and is built on top of a dead volcano

Up there! I shall build a castle

The road up

I'm pretty Knackered by this point!!

Death to all but metal

View from the top

Then it's to the gig, what a great little venue - unfassbar!! So many grea little venues on this tour.. we asked for it, we got it..

A few rockers are in early and we meet Sarita the bar manager, we can tell this gonna be a good one...

sarita organises some pizza for us and then it's time to get stuck in (after the owner and a few locals buy us a few shots of wodka and taste the local bier, which is maybe my new favourite )

Tannen Zapfle !! It must also be said that I find a new fave nearly everyday!!

We play well tonight - broke a string, thanks to Cody from mutterbeast for sorting that out quickly!! (Seriously check these guys out!! They're doing great stuff!!) Mutterbeast follow up with a smashing set, getting tighter yet again!!

Pack up!

A few more shots

In the van and back to rods!!

Big thanks to Renate again for sorting sound and all round merch legend! And the driving!! Holy shit she's a workhorse!

Also thanks to the punters at unfassbar for parting with there hard earned cash, (Betty Thomas, and all the crew I now there's more of you but I forgot names sorry) for buying merch and throwing cash in the tips jar! Oh yeah so at bars that don't pay well, while bands are playing the manager or someone will take a hat around and ask for tips for the band!! Rad idea!!

Anyways breakfast and off to Boblingen!!



Where Knights of the long round table!! ?

This cunt was staring at me in the dunny!!


Just played at husis bar in Boblingen, but now we're driving to the next place... usually I do this when I'm waking up, but I need to do it now so I get the blip on the map!!

Met some cool cats tonight..

played well - sold lots of merch! The hoodies are doin well

Ate a good pizza

Children of the Cian!

Sleep get me now!


Rutenpaul 3, 58791 Werdohl, Germany

Alt Werdohl you filthy beast.. we love you

You know when you walk into a place and you immediately feel like you've been there before, and then the bartender brings you a beer, and I mean he actually walks it to where your standing and then someone passes round a hash joint, and then someone else orders a round of shots... you pickin up what I'm puttin down?? German hospitality at it's finest!

After the usual formalities we quickly settle in to a cosy bar, we meet Rafa and Julian (the Vagrants rhythm section) who are cool as fuck, Rafa has that bass player vibe that only a large black man can have, he's Brazilian but speaks with an American twang and Julian the drummer reeks of university, but not in a bad way, he's quick to translate for us and is bloody good on the skins!!

The Vagrants kick off first tonight, graciously allowing the crowd to get well lubricated before we dry hump them! They are slick but dirty in that rock n roll classy filthy kinda way, you know what I mean right? They blast through their set and it's easy to see that they've done this before, Renate is a fire cracker and Steve has that im gonna tear you to pieces grin on his face, he nonchalantly works the fretboard as Julian and Rafa hold the whole thing together!!! They run a set of originals scattered with covers and I'm glad to hear them do me and bobby McGee with the full band, Steve pulls up a seat on the edge of the stage as Renate evokes Joplin and the crowd ignites like kindling thrown into the furnace, it's great to watch and a masterclass in rocknroll.

Then we hit the stage, once again I feel it could go either way, but true to form the Germans bring it once again... pushing us further than we've been.. we're playing everything we've got, each set is getting longer.. we're playing close to 2 hours now, at least 1.5 and I know what you're thinking, surely they want us to stop.. but no, they want more, we literally don't have any.. we're done, spent, finito, kaput !!!ive broken a string three nights in a row?? WTF!!

We filter back into the crowd and drink into the night, Razor manages to chat up a local bird and next thing she's sittin on his lap? The boy works fast!! I chat with a few locals who tell me that it's pretty much a farming town and not like the city, they talk me into shots, some fire juice that is hot as hell and I know it's gonna hurt on the way out!! Raf gets us home and I pass out till breakfast .. which is bloody lovely might I add, ham, cheese, salami, boiled egg and home made jam roll washed down with hot coffee!!

Thankyou very much alt werdohl, you do it right!!


Stopped at media market on the way.. red jbhifi

Bunnings can eat a dick!! This is a sausage sizzle!!

Not that I'm paying, but geez I wouldn't mind!!


Yo Ballers!!!!

After last nights efforts I thought I'd be a tad shy, but once again that bloody German hospitality ... after a short drive from Werdohl, honestly like 30mins we arrive at someone's house??? It's a nice house, but not where we're supposed to be,, turns out even the gps is trying to keep us out of the pub!! A quick reroute and we find the hotel, and I quickly find the bed and sleep til 5pm, the days have vanished and life is a van and a stage.. today is our 6th show in a row, and I'm totally feeling it!

We wander through town and note that every shopping center is the same, a swift photo opportunity and "the bubbles" are born ..

I'll take this moment to pay tribute to Malcolm Young, he died today and the world is a little less rocknroll, I try to relate to his life, totally humble and completely committed!! He stood back and fucking rocked, vale' mal, you inspired more than you could even imagine!!

We set up at panoptikum, eat some dinner (lasagna - delicious) and head back to the hotel for our second snooze, when we return the bar is full and ready to get started!! I notice a few crew from the night before.. a second helping huh?? Good work!!

We smash it!

The Vagrants smash it! God damn they're tight, a well oiled machine with added blue!!


The Vagrants close the the set with a version of TNT and well we have to get involved, first Razor on drums, then Cian.. I assist Renate with oiys and everything is right in the world!!

I'll say this

Germans fucking rock!!

I mean the crowds age ranges from 17 to 77 and they are all fucking going for it, hats off to you Ludenscheid !!

We sign tshirts, cds, arms, we meet people who don't speak English but need to express the feeling, one girl wearing a cherry rock tshirt grabs a few photos, and Raze is on the tune again!!

Things start getting hazy now, I end up drinking tea with the owner of our hotel cos I can't remember what room I'm in, thank fuck for Rafa, two nights in a row he saved my life, he's a fucking super hero and a bloody smooth criminal, thanks brother, , I rang everyone I could to find my room sorry if I rang you I was just trying to stay alive!!

We now have 2 days off!

I never thought I'd say it, but thank Fuck for that.. I take my hat off to any band that tours, the shit is tough and the road is long!

All in the name of liberty!!


The Bubbles- stoner pop


Yo Quarkballens!!

So a couple of days off has been bloody good, sleep and good food to recharge and prepare for the next run which sees us in Austria, Switzerland and a prison!!

Haven't done a great deal, went and checked out a local castle ruin Schwarsenfels castle... it's a thousand years old!

Apparently the first house (or knowledge of)around this place is in the year 800..

That destroys what's left of my mind

View from the top

.. we had a beer in a place that sells the longest schnitzels, something like 7kms?? correction, that's right we took a photo!! It was 96 meters.. I was drunk.. I can't remember things!! imagine the size of the bag for that "shnitty in a bag" Met a local lady who I thought was gonna kill me, but I won her over!!

Cooked some steaks over a fire- so good to have a steak, although I also watched that cowspiracy doco.. talk about conflicted

Played some piano! Accompanied by saxophone!

Watched some tv and tried to not talk much to give my voice a chance to recover.

Rayner showed us his mancave and we have a few beers and whiskeys with him and his wife Marion to say goodbye! They are fans of Motörhead and cradle of filth and introduce us to "carnivore" !! It's been a pleasure mate. Thanks for the gifts (razor and I got beard care, cian got hair care) and the baked goods, classic times!

I'm not sure why We put it on our head..

I think I did it for photo taking reasons (still haven't mastered the one handed selfie) holy shit that doesn't sound right.. oh well

That's it I think.,

Time to get up

Have a big breaky

And drive!!

Regulators!! Let's ride!!



Guten morgen dickheads!!

Well we're a few hours out of Switzerland and we had a nice quiet night in with Rod and Nadine!! YEAH RIGHT!! HAHA!!

Nothin too crazy though, walked into the city of Biberach which used to be a walled city, I'm not sure what they were keeping out (or in) but it's pretty to look at



Wood goat

We check out the local guitar shop which had some good gear in it.. I bought picks

And then headed to the pub, knocked back a few tinnies and some delicious pear schnapps whilst trying to learn some German phrases, threw some coins in the big dick tip jar and headed back to Rods!

Nadine has cooked rinderrouladen and it was sensational!! I will definitely be cooking that when I get home!! It's basically rolled and stuffed beef cooked in broth .. can't go wrong! Served with red cabbage, dumplings and roast veg!! Soooo goood !! I really shoulda taken a photo but I'm so hungry I just hook in!!

Now this all sounds quite civilized doesn't it, but let me say we are all pretty hammered at this point, I can't remember how much schnapps we had, whatever let's have some more, and then the guitars come out, we try to play some songs,an all in version of we are the world ?? Complete with Cyndi Lauper impersonation, (Nadine!! Delete all evidence!! hahaha)I get all old wise owl with Rod, we listen to more tunes More drinks, so many laughs and then I think someone was smart enough to tell us to go to bed!!

Thanks whoever that was !

I need coffee


Big dick tip jar!!

The Rod and the Balls! Or as I like to call it "the full package"!!

Metal as!! What a bunch of dickheads!!

Razor grabbing my ample bosom

Into the night

Uh oh

Things just getting started!!



I'm still in awe of the alps! Every corner brings a new rediculous view, a castle atop a mountain, a cavernous valley with mirror reflections, the road snaking ahead of you, snow all around you! I don't think I'd ever get used to it, it's just too goddamn pretty!!

We wake up at Rod and Nadines, dust ourselves off, shower, coffee and a bacon and egg roll, Rods got these mastered now! Then it's in the van and on the road!

We make pretty good time as we wind through 3 countries, first Germany into Austria then across the border into Switzerland!

These photos do not do this justice at all, it's absolutely fucking bullshit mate!!

We arrive at the venue which is in Switzerland but everybody speaks Italians, so either way we're fucked!! Manage to get some beers and some snacks and wait for Gionny to turn up with our accom details! Straight away as we were warned we notice the beer isn't of the same calibre but it's still free and well let's face it, Germany has spoiled us in that department!! Gionny turns up and gives us our keys and we're off to the hotel!!

This is where it gets a little weird, nothin too weird but it just feels odd, firstly we can't get in to the car park of the hotel, we press the buzzer - no answer.. all good let's just grab our bags and walk through.. we walk up the drive and notice the building is huge and attached to a castle and the name on the front of the building is not Bellinzona Hotel it's "Instituto Santa Maria"! (RED FLAG!!) we get in the door and there's no-one here, no reception, no customers, nothing, I can hear someone practicing a haunting piano piece over and over in a room in the building somewhere, some classical ballad which just enhances the weirdness, then it dawns on me, this is an old hospital the place is huge and where on the 4th floor.. not a single soul anywhere to be seen.. we joke about never leaving this place.. I've seen that movie it never ends well !!

Haunted right!!

Here's the photo from the website, much more sunny and inviting right?!

Well fuck that.. we've decided we're a bunch of wusses and we'll probably just drive home to Rods.. besides we got nowhere to leave the gear and we ain't lugging up 4 flights of stairs.. yep that's it, it's got nothin to do with the mental asylum we were gonna die.. I mean sleep in !!!

Cool venue, cool pa, cool owner, cool bar chick, we get some pasta into us and smash through our set .. the venues pretty quiet but it has lots of potential. I'd really like to play to a packed house here! We offload a couple of cds to some crew who can't believe we're here on a Wednesday night..

Every gig is a gig, it don't matter if it's to 1 or 1000 this is what makes a band worth their shit, if you can only do it when everything is right then you're only halfway there, remember where you came from and do what you do until you can't do it no more .. there is no other way!

Gionny pulls us outside and shows us the glory of Bellinzona and honestly the sight of the castle and walls from where we stand is pretty bloody amazing, he tells us he's been doin this job at this bar for 25 years, he's had everyone from Agnostic Front to the Evanescence tribute show, and now The Balls, like I said before do it until you can't do it no more!!

Hats off to you Gionny

See ya next time!!


Ebniseestraße 27, 71566 Althütte, Germany


Holy crap, what a crazy coupla days..I'm currently sleeping upstairs at Eddies biker bar in Althutte..Eddie is a legend (I knew he would be) and all the pillows in Germany are really large and more like a short fat doona??

So where do I start?

So after the mental asylum we drove back to biberach, which has nothing to do with Justin biber, a swift roll through the Swiss mountains, (a Swiss roll??) we were home by 4am, a delicious bergs beer, spliff ,cheese and onion toastie... and we're done!! Zzztime!!

Wake up!! Why'd ya leave the keys on the table? He wanted to!!!

Eat a kebab... bloody good, but no squidney road!! Then off to Karlsruhe!! What a magical joint, alt hackerei, plushi and ray are legends with a mad setup, we eat probs the best pizza so far and play a killer set amongst a fairly good crowd in the arty/punk area of this pretty big city.. it seems to be an old army barracks, much of Germany is like this, little reminders of what was A dark repressive cloud, transformed into art and music and joy.. I like that!

Alt Hackerie was rad, mutterbeast were rad.. we somehow manage to blow our bass cab, lucky the guys at alt hack are onto it and run us hard through the pa.. rad show.. if you're in Karlsruhe go to this place! You will not regret it!!

Old hack!!

Set up

We rise at 7am.. which is the first time I've done that in a month, and it sucks but we got a show in a prison and those fuckers are gonna make us jump!! We get there round 9 and fuck me, this is gonna get weird, max security, we have to hand in our passports and handys (mobile phones) and we get ushered into a chapel area. Kinda like an old schoool hall with about 100 chairs all facing the alter..

After setup we wander the joint, with the guards and visit a cell which the occupant has left for a minute, 23 hours a day these guys spend in here, my bathroom is bigger.. fuck stayin here! No way Jose!

Then they bring em in, the inmates wander in 6 at a time, everyone wears their 'fuck you' face and I'm not making any friends by returning the eyeballs, they roll about 90 inmates in and then it's go time.. the most nervous I've ever been playin ever.. first song finishes and ... silence ... "I mumble a weak "thankyou" .one more second passes and the crowd goes wild .... YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Thank Christ for that.. we play a good set and the inmates love it.. we meet and greet after the show, one guy shakes my hand and tries to pinch one of my rings, as he's doin it I say, "good luck mate I cant even get that off" he laughs and asks me for a bottle of water, I oblige and then I give out a bunch of the guys our left over waters, what an experience, thanks Epic Touring for setting that up, I'm pretty sure none of us will forget... ever!

Photos of the prison are coming, we couldn't take in phones etc.. but there was a photographer and she loved it so hopefully we can get em.. this is outside

The we head off to eddies

Briefly stop at a Xmas market near Stuttgart and eat a delicious roast pork roll and some mulled wine..

We play a great show at eddies, complete with people falling over in front of us and smokey shenanigans... mutterbeast are a 3 piece tonight because Boris had too much cauliflower soup!! Get well Boki!!!

what a great bar , Eddie is the legend I thought he'd be, they play the same nail game Here that I mentioned in Austria, but Ed plays it with a short handled axe, flipping it and tossing it around like a Fucking madman after so many whiskeys.. but he Fucking nails it.. cian and razor are using the hammer, ed nails 4 before they hit 1... maestro!!

We drink into the morning my Aussie accent is gaining attention, so I bung it on a bit..don't let the truth get in the way of a good story!!

Thanks uncle chop chop

That's all folks

Goodnight.. I mean good morning!

I'm bloody starving!

Reckon this is the best Facebook comment I've ever had

Line up and spread em ladies!!!!

Bachried 14, 6850 Dornbirn, Austria

G'day Ballers!!

Well that's it for Germany, finished us off with an absolute cracker of a show, after the assault that was eddies biker bar, it would be fair to say that we were a tad apprehensive....We drank with Eddie until 7am, woke up, eggs,coffee, shots... what?? Yep shots!! Eddie is the perfect host that might accidentally kill you with his generosity!!

On the road I pass out immediately, I don't know how Renate did that run.. we arrive at bombig and I recognize that this show is gonna hum, then I meet Thomas the giant owner of the joint who immediately offers me beer, dear lord can I do this again?? Gracefully and to Thomas' disappointment I decline.. we go eat dinner and I pass out for an hour.. I return to the bar to find it near full and pumping as I expected..

The Vagrants do a brief acoustic set and warm the crowd up for us, then it's go time, I'm just hangin on, and I think there's bones in my beer..

the crowd is good tonight our friend Kat from whole lotta love is here wearing an AKF t shirt.. thanks for the effort Kat, I draw on some AKF energy and somehow out of somewhere we pull it out of the bag.. we play for near 2 hours and they love it..

great fucking show

I end up sitting at the bar at 3am talking to Thomas, his daughter and her boyfriend swapping music tips, ....reminder for me .. check out the wounded kings!! Thomas also suffers from extreme generosity and the need to consume more, he won't accept me leaving without at least a case of beer, which I happily receive.. and stumble back to my room exhausted but content..

Bombig bar

Great show

We had to cancel today's show in holland, it's just logistically impossible, not to mention how crook we are! sincere apologies.. we need the rest, and the drive to Austria is a long one..

currently sitting in an Indian restaurant in Austria at the end of a dead end, down a wrong turn we took.. better get a curry!!

We lost

What's that? Indian anyone?


Keep on truckin!!



Nassereinerstraße 1, 6580 St. Anton am Arlberg, Austria

In st Anton

Too drunk

Can't walk on ice keep falling

Elbows hurt

This picture

This video

Drove through this tunnel fir 13 mins at 100ks an hour.. which means long tunnel yes?!

I sleep now

Bye bye

Nassereinerstraße 10-16, 6580 St. Anton am Arlberg, Austria

Good morning

How are you?

That's good!

Me too!

This journal entry is brought to you by the letter what the fuck! As in even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it.. but I'll try

soooo I spent the majority of yesterday in my room, mainly because I was too hungover but there is something else, maybe you've experienced it? I call it the fear, my good friend Levi named it, I live it, yesterday I felt it.. The fear is when you get so hammered and \240know something has happened but don't know what. You don't know how bad or good, how weird or how dumb but you just know something.. I had the fear all day but it was starting to subside, I walked to the shops on the slippery as fuck roads, (turns out doc martens are a silly boot and not good for slippery surfaces) flashback to last night and falling over... a lot..I have the bruises to prove it...

anyway back to the fear.. I bought myself some snacks, cheese, salami crackers etc.. I actually bought hot cheese dip, the kind you put in a microwave to heat up but it turns out the thing in my room that I thought was a microwave.... was a safe.. my hot cheese willl just have to stay cold

So maybe you're understanding my state of mind? I'm not functioning right, I'm walking \240around town looking at people thinking "is it you" " were you there" "did I break stuff"?? I say g'day to a Scottish bloke who returns with a polite “oright mate” \240and well I think everything is ok.. people in the supermarket are looking at me weird but then I realize there's a poster of my mug in the place, and I'm wearing exactly the same clothes ..

I eat things and wander downstairs to the Keller bar, which is where we play tonight, Steve has decided he's gonna allow a few people to come in tonight, some hospo crew are in town and you scratch my back.. etc etc

Cian isn't happy with me. Apparently I really wanted a sandwich last night..

I settle in at the Keller and Steve hands me a beer, I think one of the best beers I've had is this one, Bach beer?? I don't know how to spell it, but it's the beer he was doin deals in brewery's with.. it's like a Kilkenny but smoother and tastier.. Renate starts talking to a young bearded fellow who says "so I hear you guys were in Dooleys last night!" She says yeah how'd you know that??hes like the whole town knows, this guy walked into my mates house and raided his fridge..


so apparently I left Dooleys bar, got lost, I do remember walking into someone's backyard thinking "is this it?", I've then walked into someones house Not sure why, started rooting about in the kitchen ,the bloke who lives there has \240come downstairs, starkers!! \240and asked me to leave (how rude), I've had a look in his fridge and said "this is weird, I think I'm lost"... thank Christ I actually left, thank Fuck he didn't have a gun..

I bought Robin and his girlfriend a beer and I reckon I apologized 50 times..

The Fear is usually right..

Why am I drinking again

All I wanted was a sandwich

Speaking of which .....


E43, 89177 Ballendorf, Germany

Well that's it folks, currently sitting in the van with Renate at the wheel headed to the airport .. mixed emotions.

The final show was a cracker, Rod and Nadine rocked up early and things kick off, glad we got to see Nads again, she's such a bloody dickhead! Rediculously!

Steve whipped up some burritos and we all tuck in!!

Rod played a few tunes and I'm amazed at how many of his songs I know, considering how wasted we were at his place.. Nadine also showed us the video footage of us singing we are the world, its 7 minutes of footage nobody needs to be put through! That said my Cyndi Lauper is spot on!!

Steve joins rod for a couple of tunes and then Cal (who just got out of rehab😂) jumps on the drums, impromptu jam!! Renate jumps up for a sing as steve starts jamming on cocaine, subtle Steve, very subtle!!

We hit the stage around 11pm and most of the snowflakes leave shortly after we start, leaving only the rockers, and fuck me they got involved, mini circle pit, moshing, shots, crazy!! My voice just gets through the 90 minute set.. I'm done. Thank fuck for that!!

A few drinks after the show and then Steve jumps back up with Cal, things are getting a bit messy by this stage, I'm sure Steve is playing just by muscle memory because he can't stand very well, Rod on the other hand is incapable of playing guitar, his muscles are too drunk, it's good that I didn't get too wasted this night, I remember something!! Haha!

Epic touring we will never forget this!! Thankyou so much for all your hard work, get some rest coz we'll be back!!

So many new friends, so many good people, so hard to say goodbye.. music is the common thread, it bonds us together and keeps it true .. that and a little whiskey! I know I need it in my life!! , from Frankfurt to werdohl and stammheim to ludenscheid all the legends along the road, you have secured a place in my rocknroll heart!!

In the immortal words of Udo on our very first show In Arnstadt !!


yes Udo, yes I am

Stay gold