First stop. Raunds! For diesel. What a start. Then past Cambridge and Stansted and over the Dartford Crossing and down to Eurotunnel. Check in and passport control remarkably straightforward. The female wrestler in the search area who swabbed and swiped everything in sight was a bit scary, but otherwise ok.

And, as if by magic, we were in France. LB said it looked a looked a bit like England!! Decent drive down to Alencon for overnight stop. Tilly morning well behaved apart from trying to take control of the pedals midway through a contraflow!

Pasta van tea and early night. Tired.

Bloody cold this morning.Winter jackets and hats deployed for the first time in ages. Stopped at services just outside Alencon for brecwast. LB bizarrely invited ten gendarmes and twenty French Special Forces into the ladies toilet with her. The mind boggles! Then she wet her pants when she saw the food display at ‘Paul’s’. We settled for a cheese and ham croissant type thing. Scrummy. Drove another ten million miles. Stopped somewhere for diesel reload and coffee. LB had a gallon of chocolate plus chocolate plus chocolate. I had a weird situation in the toilets when Pierre popped out of the shower and said he had a problem! I explained I wasn’t fluent in Francais, but agreed to tell your man on reception! The message was duly passed on. Hope Pierre ok.

After three and a half days, four laps of of the A23, we arrived at our overnight stop. We would have been here in July, but LB fell asleep at a crucial junction; Tilly unlocked the door; and then LB went on some weird manoeuvres in the van! God help us.

Nice sunny start to the day. Got a tea from the garage. LB got a kilo of chocolat infused with hot water and we were off. Thirty sheets of paperwork ready at the Spanish border and no fecker there!! Never mind. Be prepared. And we ploughed onwards. Through sun, mist, fog and rain. Stopped for lunch somewhere and listened to Boris talk bollocks at PMQ’s. Passed Burgos, Valladolid and Salamanca and had our last toilet stop in a one horse town not far from the Portugese border. Think we were his only customers since August! And then we hit Portugal. The paperwork was prepared again. Emotions were running high. And! There was no fecker there! We sailed through.

I think I should have put this picture further up. When I was reflecting first thing this morning. It’s been a long day. Apologies.

Stopped at Auchan in Castelo for some tea stuff (frango) and then the last drive down into Monte Fidalgo. LB spotted Sirius waiting for us. And bloody Wiry. They were soon joined by Hercules. All got on well with LB. Hercules tried to roger poor Wiry on all the excitement! Don’t ask. Settled Tilly into the barn, I had a big row for keeping a mucky bath, which LB then tried out. Tea. Tired. Bed. Mission accomplished. Boa noite.

Popped Lidl. Did an LB big shop! Entertaining! Popped in lawn mower shop. Hopefully, it might be ready after the vaccine is sorted! Maybe, I should just get get a posh one?

Back to MF, where LB went into full deep clean mode! Tilly was transferred to the cabin, then we had a nice salmoa tea. For tea.

Nice bath with a scrap of toilet paper to dry myself. LB had confiscated all the towels! Nice veggie tea for tea.

Tilly seems even more settled and munched my leftovers! I’m the Queen of the Castle! Scrambled eggs and toast for lunch then off to VVDR to get some diesel and some bits from Auchan. Stopped at the lake on the way back. Peaceful.

Back for slow cooker tea. Scrummy. New plan needed for tomorrow!! Watched a Portugese cookery programme on Netflix. And so to bed.

LB did good work sorting the barn kitchen out an continued to bond with Hercules!!

Loads of olive trees pruned and two full tanks of strimmer strimmed!

LB did a FaceTime thing with the UK and I went out on the bike. Nice and sunny, but a bit cold. Bit more sorting in barn and office on return and a go on the acupressure mats!! Log burner on full wack. Me and Tilly overwhelmed!

Excellent meatballs for tea. Played some silly games with Alexa at bedtime.

Stopped for lunch. Then Tilly finished my plato de dia. Computer desk erected with some minor adaptations. Sonos installed in barn. Lots of bedding sorted by LB and snuggled into secret compartment under sofa bed in barn. Various bits put under big bed in caravan. Viewing deck cupboard tidied. A few more olive trees pruned and lots of toiletries sorted. And breathe. Went for a walk last thing. Of course Hercules and Sirius came too. Saw Amorim on way back.

Nice pasta tea and watched the Crown.

First jacket potato and baked beans in absolutely ages tonight. Yummy. Another Crown episode. Aberfan. Interesting,

Got some bits in Continente, then battled the traffic and eventually found the park up not far from the hospital. Nice walk down to the same restaurant we had been to nearly 12 months ago!! Bizarre. Totally by accident.

Slow walk back up the hill to the van. More pop quiz. LB cleaned up. I was still rubbish. Early start amanha.

I was banned from going into the consultation because they were looking at girlie things I imagine. Although I did see a doctor man pop in and out! Rude. LB stripped to her boots and placed in a paper frock. Full external and internal! Then I was allowed back in when she was re-clothed. Now her ‘bits and pieces’ had been checked, hopefully Oncology will sort her treatment for next week. And that was it. We were free. To celebrate LB wanted to go on a 10km hike around Coimbra. Stopped for brecwast first of course.

Both nearly ‘falked out’ coming back up cardiac hill, but we made it. On to Castelo for some retail therapy. Strange combinations. Paraffin and underwear!! Another episode of the Crown. Cannelloni for tea. Ricardo supposed to be on site amanha.

Ricardo and Paulinho turned up on time and quickly sorted the electric bits out. New ‘hook up’ connection also established by about 11am. Tidy job. Computer set up too.

Scrummy scrambled eggs for brunch, then off to Castelo. Shelves purchased. Cookware purchased at ‘Homa’ then back to MF. Very cold. Stuff put away. Too tired to do much else. Steak and couscous for tea. Watched Taskmaster.

After several hours, numerous shelves were erected in the office. Looked ok?

Log burner deployed early doors today and hit full capacity by 6pm. Tilly enjoyed!

A soup maker appeared this evening and beeped and whirred for a bit, before producing a piping hot leek and potato creation. Wizardry!!

More clothes sorted. Paperwork sorted and I went for a bloody cold bike ride whilst LB ‘zoomed’ with East Northamptonshire. Warmed up nicely by log burner on return then collectively assembled a fish pie!

Another episode of the Crown and a yummy, scrummy tea.

Back to MF for tea and cake. More admin, then LB immersed herself in the bath for several hours and me and Tilly relaxed in the sauna.

Rest of the fish pie for tea. More Crown. Then twenty minutes out in the storm in our nightwear trying to coax silly bloody Wiry back out of the field next door. What a loon! What a pair of loons. Eventually he just appeared next to us and ran straight home. Priceless!

Nice lunch, then some more sorting.

Went for a walk down the lane to the left late afternoon. Sirius came too.

Delia sorted a really good curry for tea. All nice and tidy. Not smushed like I normally do!

Gave the mower a try out when we got back. A good feeling. LB entertained Sirius and Wiry.

Set up new Samsung ear buds. Straightforward. Good job I read the instructions! Stir fry for tea. I was allowed to stir twice. Crisps for sobremesa.

Lemons starting to go lemony too! LB a bit fragile today, but we went off to Cebola and collected her medication. On to CB. Got chimney sweep stuff and some shelving things from Brico. Lunch supplies etc from the new Continente and then back to MF. LB had a siesta and I erected some more shelves in office.

Tilly went upward this evening. Sopa for tea. LB more fragile and then icky later on. Oof.

Had a sandwich down by the river. Tuna wrap third day running for MW! LB then thoroughly seen by Dr Santos. More prescriptions given! No undue concerns. Phew. LB looked better almost straight away! Things are looking upr. But wait. Tilly got a bloody manky arse and gone into hiding! Feck. Did some mowing as therapy and erected curtains in cabin. Had more tuna on noodles for tea!

Back to MF and lunch. Put LB and Tilly to bed, then I mowed for the day. Oh, thought there might be some re-growth on LB’s bonce, so thought best to pictorially record it!

Both feeling fairly grotty tonight. Tilly seemed better. Jacket potatoes for tea. Justin self-isolating due to Covid symptoms!

Went for bike ride whilst satellite communication took place with East Northamptonshire. Bit more mowing. Nice omelette for tea.

Eventually completed IKEA order. Stuff should be available for collection at Castelo on Friday. Good work. Gas bottle changed. Well done LB. Excellent plan. Need to top up paraffin tomorrow. Justin messaged to say Iori and Mia have tested positive for Covid now! Doing ok; just got cold symptoms. And he is back in isolation!!

Oh. Also managed to do our registration for Portugese biometric residency cards under the withdrawal agreement. Reasonably straightforward, although LB stripped of all her qualifications and left with a GCE in pencil sharpening. Nice slow cooker concoction this evening, which we managed to devour and completed an episode of the Crown. Progress? Little steps!

After three hours, we had trimmed the brush down to the right size. Much soot was swept, although we didn’t make it to the very top. CTT delivered the cupboard lights and I popped to VVDR to get some garlic bread and petrol. It’s the future! Pasta and the Crown plus Mousse de Chocolate for tea. Busy day tomorrow.

The guards told LB to eat. So we did. Humongous tosta mista. Nice, but we adapted to the speed of a chipmunk on dyalisis. Eventually, after the cafe had closed for the day, we returned to Oncology. We were inserted into a lift; placed in a room full of people called Marie/Maria and left to wait whilst people wailed after consultations or allegedly made strange noises with their tracheotomy machines! After three days, a man in green came to weigh LB. I think for the local circus? Then a man who said he was a doctor, but who had less hair than LB!! took us to his room. After 20 minutes on the phone to PC World, he got his Computer working and engaged with LB. We were cooking. Where did you have your operation? He asked? On my bloody tit, you loon. LB replied. I could have died. Antonio the doc tried to clarify. I meant, was it in the UK! Oh my Christ! I suppose things got slightly better after that. Everything is relative. Agreed we would come back next week, hopefully when LB’s oncologist had recovered and felt able to prescribe appropriate treatment.

At least the sun shone on the way back! Stopped at Serta for Lasagne and Valium. More Crown tonight. Both the Queen and LB displayed emotion. Amazing.

Much ingenuity involved devising a safety net for the well. Bit of team work deployed too.

Postie dropped new security lights off as arranged. Just need some batteries and we will be super lit all around. Sirius came to join us for afternoon tea. Bless his little wonky teeth. Justin’s bought a soft top BMW as a retirement present to himself! Lovely sunset this evening. See LB for pictures.

Various bits of admin completed, then twenty minutes chasing Tilly round the cabin with the sweeping brush! She was eventually captured and secured fir the trip to the vet. €2 later and a few lacerations to LB and vet boy, job was done. IKEA order collected and fitted ok in van. Popped Auchan and China shop. Back to MF where we erected a side table and low unit before tea. Good work team. Scrummy lemon chicken and mayonnaise for tea. Last episode of Taskmaster. Enjoyed this series.

Looking good. Cabinet for bathroom sing handedly erected by LB. Tidy job indeed.

Weather improved in afternoon and decision made to take Tilly outside for first time. Lead and hiviz harness attached and away we went. Lead separated from LB in seconds. Dogs came to see what all the fuss was about and were soon sent away. After a few minutes under the deck, Tilly emerged. The lead was grabbed and she was swang around between us for what seemed like an eternity until it was severed with LB’s hunting knife. After emergency first aid was applied to the puncture wounds inflicted on my hands and arms, Tilly calmly strolled off round the barn to explore. Bizarrely, she decided to then crawl up into the engine of the T5 and came out the exhaust end. If that trauma wasn’t bad enough, Tilly thought it would be sensible to go into the field next door and headed for the small hole in the barn where the feral cats live. LB tried her best authoritative voice, to little effect. Unfortunately, small rocks were thrown at the barn wall in a pre-emptive strike and Tilly returned to home territory! We both agreed that was enough freedom for one day and Tilly was ushered back to the cabin! And relax.

Weekly video call mid afternoon, so bike right at the same time. Bit cold. Rescued kitten cat from Wiry and Sirius on the way back. Bad dogs.

Various other jobs completed, then luscious fish pie prepared for tea. Bloody delightful.

Christmas tree erected in barn. Only had one big row for not carrying it right! Not bad I suppose.

Off to CB. First stop. Benetton. Got LB a dressing gown. Woman in shop used to live in Chelmsford! Small world. Although I’ve never been to Chelmsford. Then on to the Forum for lunch. I had a cheese sandwich and LB had a McDonald’s Happy Meal! Chicken Nuggets etc. Weirdo.

Did big shop at Lidl and little shop at Auchan. Got some logs at Agriloja and a new gas bottle from Cebola on the way back. A productive day. Fish pie day two for tea.

I had sopa. It was all I could manage after having a big row for not reversing straight in the car park!! Had a nice walk round the shopping centre and got a few bits from Auchan before parking up at our usual park up. Disturbed to discover that typhoid and botulism was developing in the sink because we had failed to wash up after our last trip out! Bad.

LB had a nap and I washed my bits. Then out for tea. Obviously after a big lunch, LB only wanted something light.

Unusual to see someone order an extra order of fries with their steak and chips, but I guess she knows what’s she’s doing. Luckily enough room was kept for sobremesa. Always thinking that girl.

LB to stay on same treatment for the time being with some extra jungle juice to strengthen her bones. Eventually established that tratamento is this afternoon. Wrong info Dr P, so we adjourned to the cafe for lunch of pumpkin soup. No nuggets today.

Back to Oncology where some weird man kept talking gibberish to me and LB totally kaiboshed a Portugese granny’s new mobile phone she had just got for Christmas. LB eventually called into tratamento just before three. I had a walk round in the rain. Bought some more plugs in China shop and had a drive out to Aldi to get some beans. Treatment went well. All very helpful and informative. I did some amazing parallel parking up by the hospital, collected LB and we were on our way. Well after ten minutes scrabbling in the dark looking for the Portugese mobile. I had a big row and was accused of leaving it in the Banco at VVDR and LB kept saying how important the phone was because she had told Nurse Helena it was the main way of contacting me. We found it when we got back to MF. It was in LB’s bag!

Jacket potato for tea. Two tired people.

Another ECG and I was eventually allowed to leave. Picked up a shivering LB at reception and collected some medication from the farmacia. Topped up with diesel and then back to MF. What a couple of days.

Sorted some more shelves in the barn after breakfast and then settled and watched a couple of films on Disney Plus in the barn. Coolio.

Went for a walk with Sirius after tv time. Sunny but cold. Contact made with East Northamptonshire which is under water. What do they expect? Sandwich’s for tea. We know how to live. Christmas is overrated.

Tried to make sense of lock down rules. Probably failed. Popped CB and got some magnesium and super nuts in the Boxing Day sales. Tried to get some bananas, but fell foul of of the the ‘weigh and scan’ system introduced after Brexit. Bloody Boris.

Tried to get some logs at Agriloja, but lockdown had kicked in, so we looked a bit daft. Back to MF to look at the nuts before we got them insured and locked in the safe. Absolute bargain. Watched another Pixar film which reduced LB to jelly at the end. Had a nice walk with Sirius before it got too cold. Salmoa for tea, then the first disco at Monte Fidalgo. Shame we have health issues.

Did some mowing with the wonkiest mower in Portugal. Spent as much time trying to sort the bloody vibrations out as actually cutting the grass. Rubbish. Frigging frio hoje. LB turned barn into a lavandaria! Then we found some of her artefacts and she started reminiscing about the ‘old days’! Slow cooker was set to work, log burner ignited and Tilly falked out.

Another IKEA order started, but LB lost the plot with the internet and then decided to finish tomorrow. More Crown and stew surprise for tea.

Justin messaged to say he’s had another Covid test. Been feeling rubbish since Christmas Day. Bloody hell. One Worten order seems to have disappeared but the other turned up a day early, and was so easy to connect!! Tidy sound once we had worked out what we were doing. Emailed Dr Santos re: an appointment and got a text from Worten with a link to DPD, so hopefully can progress tomorrow. Leftover slow cooker and couscous for tea. All very tired.

Then the fun on the phone started. Two hours holding to DPD (no stress); then Bedford Borough Council (medium stress); and finally Argos/Tesco Pet Insurance (minimal stress).

Oh, and Justin has tested positive Covid! Silly arse. Went for a walk with Sirius and lost him. He was back before us!

Tea in the barn tonight! Omelette. LB won the presentation competition although taste was excellent. Really like how we have set the barn up. Cool place.

After Tilly safely secured in the barn, LB was placed on charge of Mesh installation. Seemed to go quite well. Only Sonos buggered about and will be revisited tomorrow. LB adjourned to the barn for some reading and a siesta, whilst I went out on the bike. Bit cold, but invigorating.

Found the residue from my treatment at CB last week on my arm. Bloody cannula!

Another barn tea, and a late night toilet unblocking. Don’t ask!

LB also tried her punky funky trousers for the first time. Excellent choice. This picture doesn’t do them justice.

Did a shopping run to VVDR then back for onion soup for lunch. Bit of a manly day, so afternoon spent doing nails (LB) and watching the Great Escape. First time for LB remarkably!! Jackets and last episode of the Crown for tea. Bom Ano Novo world!!