Here’s where it all begins..

12 years pass and a Instagram message and a randomly planned date. My nerves were so shot and it felt like butterflies were sworming in my stomach. I’m still not sure if it was because of who he was or the fact that I knew my current relationship wouldn’t last too long after that meet up. Of course, my boyfriend at the time was aware of where I was and who I was with, I’m not that bad. But anyway, I pulled into his driveway and gathered myself as I watched him walk to the door of my car. His smile was so big. He invited me in, his house smelt like fabuloso and a mixture of home. We walked back out and obviously took the fancy car in the driveway. We didn’t know where we were going and what we had planned to do. A few good songs, and deep conversation later, we sat in the parking lot waiting to eat. Anger and disappointment flooded his face when he found out how I’ve allowed myself to be treated. We sat down at the table and he told the waiter what I wanted. Me being as picky as I am, I chose a burger, cut up in fours, and fries with a bud light. Afterwords, we chose to go to Retrocade. A small bar and arcade in the center (I think) of Asheville. So much laughter, smiles, and competition carried us through that night. Searching for a phone charger started our peaceful drive back to his house. I was unsure if I was gonna go on in and spend some more time with him or not, but I’m glad I did. My toes hurt from the boots I chose to wear, so I quickly slipped those off as we entered the door. The flicker at the sound of the heat kicking back on was so loud in the first few seconds of silence. I didn’t know what to do, other than sit on his couch and be weird. He cut his ginormous TV on and searched for something to create a little noise. By that time ole boy was asking what was going on, I updated him and sat my phone down for the night.

Open season played in the background as I kept my distance awkwardly. Eventually he found a way to bring me closer. I don’t know what kept so much distance between the two bodies, I just know that I was nervous. I didn’t know what would come next.. We sat and talked through the whole movie. We talked about religion and our fears. We talked about the past and our history. It was almost as if years never passed. As if we never spent any time apart. My heart felt a peace it had never felt before. And then the kiss happened, and it was like sparks and all that gooey lovey shit. It felt so right. Eventually, we made our way to the bedroom, and had more meaningful conversations (and a little bit more). His bedroom looked differently than I expected. I can’t explain it, but it just spoke more about him than I’d imagine it would. It was so simple, yet so much more.

I left late that night. I think it was like 2am or later when I got home. I don’t know, who keeps up with that. On the drive home I listened to music that would allow me to replay every scene of that night. The stars were shining so bright for a November night and there wasn’t many clouds in the sky. The air had a damp chill to it. I crawled into bed with an evil soul and drifted off on the feelings that night had left.