It’s more than the armrest argument and the seat swapping dilemma.
Flying on an airplane means sitting in a tight space, with a bunch of strangers, and no escape until you arrive to your destination. It’s not always glamorous and your fellow passengers can really play a role in how well or no-so-great the flight goes. Proper airplane etiquette will go a long way to making sure everyone is comfortable.
The Journo team wants to prepare you so that you aren’t one of those flight-experience ruining passengers so we’ve created a guide about what you need to know about airplane etiquette.
When you’re getting onto the airplane, sit down and get out of the way.
We see this way too often, you finally get to your seat and there are people standing in the aisle, rummaging through their bags, and just taking their sweet time.
We get it, you might need to grab a few things before you put your bag above you in the storage compartments but be prepared before you board and have those in-flight items in hand so you can get to your seat, store your bag, and sit down as soon as possible.
Store your bag above you.
Unless you have a smaller purse or backpack and depending on the amount of space around you, your bag is just going to be in the way if it’s by your feet.
Be courteous to other passengers as this also creates a problem when they need to get up and get past you (if you’re in the middle or aisle seat), to stretch their legs, use the restroom, etc.
Be mindful of how much noise you make.
If you’re watching TV, watching Netflix, or just jammin’ out to some tunes – be mindful of the volume of these things. It can be really annoying when someone is trying to rest and they hear your choice of music or show blasting through their head.
Try not to be too messy with food – it’s a tight space! 🍴
We all live different lives and we’re all raised differently. Some of us are taught to eat neatly and with our mouths closed and others are not. And that’s okay. But be mindful of who is around you, where your food lands, and try not to chew too obnoxiously.
Know how to share the armrests.
If you’re on the end, you obviously get the armrest on your end. The middle seat passenger technically has access to both armrests if they choose to.
And if you are that middle passenger, you’re already in a spot that you probably aren’t crazy about – squished between two people. So if you want two armrests (this is New Jersey talking), stand your ground and you glue those elbows down for a long enough period of time that the other passengers know you aren’t kidding.
Or, you can just politely talk to them about it. However, most people will say the middle seat always gets both armrests.
Keep your shoes on – please. 👞
I get it if your feet are tired and they need a break from your shoes, but no one really wants to see or smell anyone else’s feet on a flight!
Keep your shoes on, unless it’s a flight where you are sitting alone and there aren’t people around you.
Use the window shade wisely.
It’s always nice to ask those around you if it’s okay to keep it up or to keep it down.
I think the best rule of thumb is this – if it’s extremely sunny out and the light is beaming through the plane – and you notice the person next to you is trying to sleep, then putting the window shade down is courteous. Night flights or red-eyes don’t really apply to this rule – so do with the window shade as you please.
Turn your phone on silent and switch to airplane mode. ✈️
Just like you don’t want to hear someone else’s music or movie, you don’t want to hear the constant buzz or ring of someone’s phone from messages or other notifications. Turn it to silent when you get on the plane. Be mindful of any repeating alarms that might go off.
Remember making sure your devices are switched to airplane mode is a rule, not a courtesy. Phone interference can seriously affect a plane’s inner workings – so please do this no matter what.
Don’t wake your neighbor, unless you absolutely have to (or they request you to).
It’s nice to be thoughtful of others when the drink cart comes around, but waking someone up to tell them this is not okay.
Do not wake your neighbor, unless you know them well and spoke to them about this. Otherwise, the only time you should need to wake anyone up is when you have to use the restroom.
The seat swapping dilemma.
It’s a century-old dilemma amongst airplane passengers. Should you swap seats when someone asks you to?
I don’t think there need to be two separate sides on this. As long as it isn’t affecting other passengers and it’s done in a timely manner, then I say, go for it. You can at least ask someone politely, and see if it’s okay with them. If they say no, then at least you tried.
You never know what someone has going on that day or if they strategically picked their seat for a reason. So ask nicely, but also accept a “no” nicely as well.
Know how to deal with a chatty neighbor.
This is an easy fix. If there’s someone around you that is being too chatty, then politely ask them to talk quietly. You don’t need to come off as demanding or mean, it’s not an unreasonable request!
Last but certainly not least, ask yourself this question:
To recline or not to recline?
This is by far the most controversial topic on the plane. Even more than the armrests. When is it appropriate to recline? According to Smarter Travel, there are several things you need to do in order to answer this question.
- First, always look behind you before you recline.
- Don’t ever recline during meal time. It’s just not cool.
- Only recline as much as you really need. Don’t go all the way back if you don’t have to. Do you really enjoy sitting in someone else’s lap?
- If you do choose to recline, do not drop your seat backwards, do it slowly.
So what do you think? Are you going to recline the next time you’re on the plane? Did we miss any airplane etiquette rules that you find very important? Leave us a comment below!
66 Responses
Child travel is a major topic as well. We all know that a traveling child can be cranky by always crying,the parents of these children should have at least a little respect to try to prefeed/ change the child before hand so other passengers don t have to not enjoy their 5 or even 8 he flight because of a crying child for the last 3 hrs. Be courteous,respect others and be a parent instead of being ignorant to others. We didn t pay for a kindergarten class,we pay for our trip to the destination .
Thanks
Well said, James! Here’s to more peaceful flights in the future 👍🏼
I don’t think you went far enough, James. You should suggest that parents leave their child at home rather than risk getting on your nerves.
Have you ever flown with children? Even if parents prepare ahead, flying can be very daunting to children. Their ears can hurt. You never know what they’re going through. Maybe instead of getting annoyed by crying children, you could see if you could help in some way. We had a nine month old on a flight one time , and just to be kind, a lady offered to hold her for awhile. I figured she couldn’t go anywhere with our daughter so that was fine and appreciated.
Even though I’m not thrilled with fussy children, I understand the parents can’t always help the situation.
One of the problems with children, especially the little ones, is that they might have a lot of pain due to the air pressure. Have some sympathy for them; they are suffering much more than we are. Maybe the airline attendants know some tricks to alleviate the pain, but it is real — and the children don’t understand why they are being hurt.
Another issue with traveling with small children is when they are crying. Having ear troubles myself, I have sympathy for the child because the pressure is causing their ears to plug up and hurt. They don’t understand and can’t equalize that pressure like us adults. So please, try to have a little sympathy – that young parent probably doesn’t really realize that their child is crying out of pain and is frustrated not know what to do.
Smart parents bring toys or tablets for their kids to be occupied during the flight. Once my husband and I were practically surronded by kids on the flight, and they were very quiet. While those parents who don’t care about other passenders ignore the simple rule: they leave their kids to themselves, and they cry often because they are bored. A have a perfect example of it: my husband and I were flying from the UK, and we had am Indian couple with a girl, i would say, 5-6 years ord. Old enough to behave if properly instructed by parents. She was crying and making noises all the time because she had nothing to be occupied with. Another example was with Latin parents whose toddler was yelling because he was bored. Right in my ear! Finally, after a scandal, parents started taking turns to entertain their toddler, and he was quiet during the rest of the flight. So, bottom line, Unless it is a very little baby who cannot control himself (though parents may want to calm him down), it is the PARENTS’ reponsibility to keep their children quiet. Though many of them don’t care and say: oh, they are JUST children, it is normal. IT IS NOT for other people!
We always brought a new toy or book to occupy our child on flights and didn’t give it to them until we were on the plane. Kept them occupied each time
Agree with every single one of these! Maybe I’ll bring on my next flight..
Thanks Lorraine! Sounds good 👍🏼
If you have a tight connection, when deboarding ask nicely for those passengers in front of you to let you through. Otherwise, wait your turn and let the rows in front of you to deplane first. A rude passenger pushed my wife aside on arrival in Hawaii and caused her knee to blow out ruining our vacation.
We’re sorry to hear that, Dennis. You make a very good point 👍🏼
I had to change flights in Atlanta, GA two years ago. We were late getting to the gate. I had to switch planes in another hub. I was in the middle (at time 64 years old) and I politely told him the problem and asked if I could get in front of him. I told him I had never been to this airport and did not know the lay out and I had to catch another plane.
He started screaming at me in front of all the other passengers. He was a businessman all dressed up in suit. He started screaming “is this what you want?” “Am I making you happy”. All the passengers turned around and all eyes were on me. It was so embarrassing that I will never forget it.
Hi Diane, thanks for sharing this story!
Ow!
We asked people to allow us to deplane to catch a REALLY tight connection, they ignored our plea and we missed our effing flight. The connection wasn’t tight initially, but “mechanical”issues made that flight late.
Agreed! Lately more and more passengers from the back jump up and begin making their way to the front before everyone else sitting int front of them. Rude!!
Tight connection? Another rule is to always allow ample time between connections. I know, sometimes there are flight delays, and that’s a valid excuse.
there actually was a time when the airline person – knowing well the connections, would actually get certain passengers with tight connections up to the plane exit 1st so they could get off quickly
I wonder what airline other people are flying, because the airline seats I get recline about two or three inches, certainly not putting you in the lap of anyone if used. Anyone reclining their seat has never come anywhere near me.
Thanks for the heads up Tammi! 😊
I beg to differ Tammi. Those two to three inches puts the back of your seat against my knees. Look behind you the next time and if a tall person is sitting behind you, I beg you to resist the temptation to gain 2 inches for yourself.
We have flown many different airlines and yes it is only a few inches but due to airlines making everyone’s space smaller, it does feel like you are in my space.
As a rule I never recline out of respect for other passengers; If everyone did that there would be less upset people.
If someone is watching something on the little screens 2 -3 inches makes a difference.
I am not comfortable on any plane but I would be very upset to cause another passenger more discomfort.
I would never take a really long flight unless I can afford first class.
as a flight attendant for 40 years now, with a major airline…..you have nicely mentioned some of our pet peeves. one of the things you mentioned is what makes the boarding so slow and holds up the traffic, and is one of our biggest pet peeves. for goodness sakes, didn’t you know you wanted to read your book or listen to your ipod BEFORE you got on the plane? standing in the aisle rummaging for your stuff is annoying to the other passengers …and the crew as well. another of our pet peeves. unless you have just RUN from one flight connection to another, what have you been doing all that 50, 40, 30 minutes before boarding starts? why do you wait until you are on the plane to use the restroom? it never fails. at least 5 or 6 come straight to the restroom when boarding, and because others are boarding behind them, now those in row 8 or 12 or 15 (because they have boarded first) are all standing around IN OUR GALLEY while we are trying to set up our carts for the service. ever wonder why sometimes it takes 30 minutes into the flight for the beverage cart to come out in the aisle? it’s because we couldn’t do it on the ground with those standing in it, as they can’t get back to their seats. rant over. THINK!
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Anastasia!
Since you work as a flight attendant, I would tell the announcers to say politely something about what you just said, “it is now the perfect time to use the restroom you have 10 minutes before boarding.” for flight # so and so…
Totally agree!
As passengers, we try to respect flight attendants and what they’re doing. Flight attendants also need to respect passengers.
When the seatbelt sign is on, you can’t get up to use the bathroom. When the drink cart is out, it’s hard to get around it to use the bathroom. It takes awhile for the flight attendants to serve all the passengers. So it’s hard to know exactly when to use the bathroom on a flight at a time that won’t annoy anyone.
For people with particularly fussy bladders, it’s hard to wait.
Maybe put a seatbelt on the toilets. Lol
I told a flight attendant one time that when she closed an overhead bin, it wasn’t closed all the way. She just looked at me as though she was wondering why I had the right to tell her that. If that bin had opened in flight, falling items would have hurt the passengers sitting below it. So, flight attendants may be trained im their duties and in crisis situations, but they also need to remember that we passengers aren’t to be disrespected or treated as though we don’t know anything.
It is never acceptable to recline on a domestic flight in coach. It’s just rude and inconsiderate to the person behind you.
We agree Henry!
I just got off a 14 hr Flight from the Middle East. I’m exhausted. I’m on my last 2 hr leg home. Guess what the seat is going back!
We understand, Robin!
I get dizzy and lightheaded on flights so I need to recline and see outside.
Why would you agree with that? It’s acceptable to recline a little, but not into the person’s lap.
Disagree. If you are sick or prone to air sickness, reclining even on shorter flights is helpful.
Wrong
Agree, bud. Only exception is very long flights/night flights.
As far as changing seats, I always accomodate. It’s a couple of hours out of my life that I can afford to be KIND.
If you have just come off an overnight flight and are exhausted, with it being the middle of the night for the time zone you just left, you need to sleep and will want to recline. Just saying there are times when a day time domestic flight passenger really could use a reclining seat.
I completely disagree. If that was true, they wouldn’t have made the seats on domestic flight-size airplanes “reclineable”.
Keep the seat up. Reclining is inconsiderate and not necessary
Think of others. You are in their personal space!!!!!!
Wrong. You may a recline a little and who are you to say it’s not necessary? Maybe they just had a back or neck injury. Reclining a little bit is ok. An inch or two should be fine. Just be thoughtful when you do.
We were on a flight and had a very tight connection. One of our party had difficulty walking, using a cane. We spoke to the flight attendant, asking if she could help us. She made an announcement that there were four people who had a very tight connection, and could everyone please wait for us to leave. EVERYONE waited for us – so many people said they hoped we made our connection – what a nice experience.
What a nice story! Thanks for sharing, Sherlyn!
The last several flights I have been on (American and Delta) have only a 2 inch move on the seat. It is painful for me to sit straight up, so I try not to even take advantage of the 2 inches. Sometimes I just put a sweater in my lumbar region. I have to say that all of this is the fault of the airline trying to shove more people into less space. Not to mention going to a larger airport, then to a hub, then to another hub, before my destination. I do not want to fly for hours, lay over for several more hours and then do it again. From my home to my destination can take 8 hours with one stop or 28 hours with more stops. That is ridiculous! No wonder we are cranky and tired.
I always inform the person in back of me that I am going to recline so they can be prepared
That’s great, Robert!
I think the ONLY time it is ok to recline your seat is if there is no one sitting behind you. My solution is for the airlines to take away that feature and solve this problem once and for all. We should keep our fellow passengers comfort in mind. As a 6’+ person once a seat is reclined it makes a already uncomfortable flight even more so.
I wish they would ask if there is anyone who needs to catch a connecting flight and let those passengers off first.
I think the reclining issue is ridiculous. The seats are made to recline. Reclining back a few inches is not in anybody’s.” space.”. It makes flying more comfortable and relaxing. I have a neck injury and sitting straight up is extremely painful on my neck. Maybe people should be aware that other people have “right” and concerns too. Quit being so entitled and get over it! Live in the real world and quit thinking only of yourself.
One you should add. Passengers are not the only ones responsible for slow boarding. The airlines used to board 1st & business class and then seat people from the last rows to the front rows. Now they board credit card holders, frequent flight club members and assorted other special groups after 1st & Business without regard for where they are sitting which results in people in row 15 or 16 getting on before those in row 50 or 60 so of course there is a holdup while they stow luggage, get seated (if there are 2 or 3) etc. etc. Board from the rear forward and you would avoid a lot of boarding delay. OK, end of rant.
Three comments:
First: about switching seats. I’ve been told the Airlines frown on it except when necessary; e.g., mom and young child seated rows apart, because in the event of unspeakable tragedy it could complicate identity of crash victims. Of course we’ve not had a fatality in the US in more than 2 decades. Just last week I embarrassed myself making this request. My sister and I sat on our laptops 6 months ago and 1000 miles apart and booked adjacent seats (but on separate tickets) for a “bucket list” trip to Scotland. All but the middle seat one row behind me in all nearby rows were booked. The airline (not knowing that we were traveling together) for reasons unknown to us moved her back 15 rows in the middle of the night before our departure, but they did agree to move her into that nearby middle seat. I was in the window seat. A fit 40-something gentleman sat down in the aisle seat, and I learned he was joining some friends for an annual golfing trip. Several minutes later, an unaccompanied teenager entered our row. I explained our predicament (70-something’s bro and sis wanting to catch up despite the airline’s chicanery). He seemed a bit perplexed, but said “sure, no problem.” So, when my sister entered a few minutes later, I explained the nice young man had a agreed to move back one row into her dedicated seat. It was not until we were airborne and the young man began to converse with the isle seat in our row did it become clear to either of us that they were father and son! We apologized profusely for our request, but they insisted on allowing us our proximity for the flight.
Second: we’re probably only a year or two away from the demise of “flight mode.” It’s already funereal in the EU (although apparently only for people with 5G handsets). Interference with avionics is apparently no longer an issue, and 911 taught us all it was POSSIBLE to make calls from 35,000 feet.
Third: about the window shade: on my return trip from Scotland, we flew over southern Greenland on a sunny afternoon, and were treated to some of the. Most spectacular views I can remember. Those can be once in a lifetime experiences for some, so if your seatmate asks you to raise the curtain, please do so.
Follow the golden rule. Treat others kindly. You never know what someone is going through. Medical problems, a death in the family, racing to testify in a court case, etc.
The seats are not made for any type of comfort. Corporate Greed has managed to jam as many as possible in an aluminum tube. Stopped flying some years ago & now drive to my destinations. If the seating was more spacious , reclining the seat back would not be an issue. Last time we flew I had selected 4 seats, 2 aisle & 2 middle for the grandchildren all in the same row. We were then asked several times to relocate , that I declined to do. Almost had a serious issue with another couple , the flight crew had to get involved. That was the last flight we have taken. I’ll drive & enjoy the journey. R.F.C. , Texas.
So very true. That being said there needs to be proper etiquette in the first class section of the plane. Since I’m usually sitting in that portion of the cabin I find it very offensive to those who don’t know how to behave as they should as well as we’re appropriate clothing, and other passenger storing their over carry-ons in the bins. Most offensive
Unless food or beverage service, recline. It is only an inch or so. If rude, seats should not be able to recline. Wish flight staff would enforce shoe or at least sock policy. Many people are flying in tiny shirts, bare midriff and everything hanging out. Gross. Should be a dress policy!
Seat Swapping-there’s a reason for assigned seats. Should there be an accident/incident where there is a catastrophic crash, people will be thrown about. Those still in their seats can be identified using a passenger manifest.
You need to ask a flight attendant is it’s okay to ask, or if they’d ask. There is a large chance of less conflict if the flight attendant asks the passenger with whom you wish to switch with.
Also, don’t expect a switch with someone in another class. For example, if you’re in the main cabin (coach) and you ask me to switch, and I’m in economy plus, little wider seat, more legroom, don’t expect a yes. If we’re both in the same class, then I’ll help you out.
Years back I frequently led groups of middle school students on educational trips. I always asked the gate agent if my group (up to 15 excited kids!) could please board with the first group so we could get out of everyone’s way. I also said that upon arrival we would wait until everyone else had passed us before we stood up to grab our “whatevers” and leave. Most everyone seemed to appreciate it. I know as the leader, I did.
PS: I also told parents that we would be the last off the plane so they wouldn’t get antsy waiting for their precious travelers!
Every flight I have been on in the last two years (and I’ve been on a lot) someone has asked me to trade seats. Almost always an aisle seat for a middle. What?????
One was in first class for a middle seat in economy? In whose world would that lady think I would say ok? Now, if it was a soldier in uniform I’m on it! People!!! Listen!!! Pick your seat ahead of time and PAY FOR IT like I did. There. Problem solved. Now you have the aisle seat you so desire. Otherwise, suck it up.
All good points. Didn’t know middle seat gets both armrests automatically.
Reclining wouldn’t be such an issue if the airlines just faced the fact that by adding more rows of seats they have squeezed passengers in economy class to the point where the reclining seat should become extinct. You can’t have it both ways, my Mom used to say.
there was a time when the “stewardess,” who definitely knew the passenger’s connections, would approach appropriate passengers & make arrangements for them to be in front at the plane’s exit so they could get off quickly & make their next flight. I have not seen this in years.
My granddaughter is a stewardess. She deserves a polite “thank you for your assistance”. If you see she’s wearing a name tag, be courteous and thank her by saying that name, looking into her eyes, smiling.
My family and I (wife, special needs sister) were going to Costa Rica for at least 9 months, taking our three dogs, 3 large suitcases and 3 roller boards checked, three dogs in rolling crates and 3 backpacks for carryon and wife and sister in wheelchair. ABQ-SJO via IAH. Informed at check-in that IAH flight delayed so cnx would be 20 minutes. Agent put us on DEN adding about 2 hrs to flight but put us in E+ seats (United). On plane I noticed arriving gate was B20 (way at the end) and departing flight was A36, with 38 minutes connection time! I asked businessmen around me if they would assist us with dogs and backpacks to wheelchairs and they willingly agreed! Doors opened, we were in the wheelchairs in a flash and the attendants were running! I was running behind with one backpack and two dogs but we made connection before early boarding began! It always pays to ask!
These descriptions of etiquette always annoy me as I see some of these common rules as actually violating other people’s rights.
Why does the person who wants to sleep at 10am or 3pm take precedence over the person who wants it to feel like daytime? If you want to sleep in the daytime, isn’t it your responsibility to take your preparations (like an eye mask) rather than taking away everyone else’s daylight? Long haul flights can be more challenging as some people act on departing time and others on arrival time, so one person’s 3pm could be another’s 3am. Additionally light exposure can be important in combatting jetlag. I remember when the old etiquette was that the window seat passenger had control of their shade (and I say that as an aisle seat person) rather than that one or few people wanting to sleep.
The armrests are also controversial. A common argument relates to the economics of the selection of seats and that the non-middke seats planned (and potentially paid) for that privilege. All three seats have the same width. Sometimes the window seat’s “own” or window side is a firm boundary and in some setups actually infringes into the seat because of the curvature of the wall. The fact that the aisle passenger can lean into the aisle is not always possible and also infringes on the rights of those wanting to or needing to use the aisle. So, not sharing armrests also has the possibility of impacting the ability to sit up straight and/or have one’s arm at their side – should the middle seat occupant have this advantage taking it away from the other two passengers?
I am short. The airplane seats are often too tall for me. Accordingly, I never recline as it would make the already uncomfortable seat even more uncomfortable.
I am a flight attendant of more than 30 years, flying the friendly skies. I agree with all your suggestions; I can only hope our passengers would read your list.
I have another suggestion for those with an aisle seat: turn to your seatmates and ask that, if they need to get up, they do so. Be polite; it’s courteous.